So many things!

I have no better post title because there are just SO MANY THINGS that have taken place since I last posted.

Training wise,

•  I took two weeks after LBL 50 to kinda recover and just give my mind and body a repreive from so much running. I enjoyed happy hours and a few late nights and some nachos (like, a whole plate of them to myself). Over all, it was refreshing and just really re-ignited the fire in me to train again.
• I went into a 64 mile week after that...in which I was in Orlando for part of the week (more on that in the "life" section later) and then last week did 72 and another 72 this week...but that was on only 6 days of running.
• Yesterday I ran 25 miles, most on th Flying Pig marathon course (which is in just three weeks) in 3:13.40 and I nearly crippled my buddy, but not before he actually saved someone's life. No joke.
• I ran a couple miles before I met him because he wanted to do 22 miles. I wanted to go across the Taylor Southgate bridge into OH, but he insisted on the Purple People Bridge. So, across we went. I was so excited to catch up and run with him that I was chatting and suddenly, he wasn't there beside me. I stopped, and he was running at a woman...straddling the railing of the bridge, crying hysterically, and on the phone, saying she just wanted to go. He held her hands, made sure she wouldn't really make the jump. She declined his requests to get down at first, but then, something he said clicked. I can't tell you what it was. I don't know. I was frozen. Another runner on the bridge was on his phone calling the police. She sat on a bench and he knealed, holding her hands in his and told her that this world needs her, until the police came. We found out she has a husband and two kids, but life just gets heavy sometimes. And when help arrived, he told her to never forget his name and she said thanks and we went on to run another 21+ miles.
• Just a few days before that, i was out for a run in a neighborhood that's not the best. I passed a little girl and two little boys playing in a parking lot. The girl calls to me "is joggin' fun??" and i said "I like it!". All I could think about for the remainder of my run was how many different things i could have said to her. And whether running really is fun. (Because I wasn't exactly "jogging"...i was doing about 7:20 pace at the time I passed them). If it's not fun, why would I keep doing it? I just love it. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes not. Hmm.

And in life, well,

• I moved into a house. With a fenced in yard for my pups and two big bedrooms and more space than I have furniture for. It's pretty cool. Because I just needed a reprieve from the old memories that haunted my old place.
• And shortly thereafter, I went to Orlando for work. Correction: I went to DISNEY for a lender conference for one of our customers. In case you didn't know, that place is fucking magical!! We got dinner and a private tour in Animal Kingdom. And time by the pool in 80 degrees :)
• I got a new tattoo. And I didn't pass out (thank you, Rob) and afterward went to a Bell's Hopslam cask tapping. How much excitement can you fit in one night?!?

• My little tiny Clubber got an infected hair follicle on her eye lid and I took her to the vet, only to discover she had a hernia. Which meant repair. ASAP. surgical repair. Ugh. Totally broke my heart, but she seems to be recovering quickly. She was such a trooper through all the vet visits.
• And, in general, things are just good!

Land Between the Lakes 50

So….I did my first 50 miler on Saturday in Grand Rivers, KY at Land Between the Lakes. Actually, my first Ultra ever! And I was incredibly nervous. I knew I had put in the training, but life threw me a couple curve balls (like pneumonia and 12 hour work days) in the weeks prior so I was kinda scared.

I was standing at the start line with fellow Cincinnatian, David Riddle,who went on to set a new course record in 5:53, chatting it up and kinda asking advice. It was a four loop course, so he told me to do the first lap easier than an easy run, the second like an easy run, the third, start working and the fourth, race!

I went out SLOW! Partly because the single track trail was so crowded. There was also a 23k, a marathon and a 60k. It thinned out the second loop, so I picked it up (prob a little too much) to recover some ground. I had gels for the first two laps, 3 gels each loop. But I was just drinking water and by the time I was half way through the second loop, my fingers were swelling. I knew I needed salt but they didn’t have any except at the main drop-bag aid station. I started getting a little nauseous, so I just drank coke at every station and tried to shovel down some potato chips.

At the end of loop one, I was sitting in 6th or 7th place. At the end of the second, I had moved up to or 4th. I put in my ipod at the beginning of the 3rd loop, around mile 25 and struggled mentally for a few miles. Then, around mile 27.5, I caught another girl. Then about a mile later, I caught another who told me the defending champ was just ahead. I caught and passed her. And I never looked back. She had been walking and the girl behind her told me she’d gone out too fast so she wasn’t going to be a threat. I got s-caps starting the 4th loop… and was still smiling and laughing, making comments as I passed people. I did, however hit a point around mile 37 when I saw three men ahead of me and I was ready to pass them, but I was low on sugar, anxiously awaiting the next aid station for some coke. And BAM! I went down, hard!! The guy directly ahead heard me and turned around and asked if I was ok and I moaned and told him to go on. It hurt so bad and I was bleeding from my hand and knee. I just had to sit there for a minute. But I got up and went on to pass them all quickly. One foot in front of the other.

After exiting the trail the fourth time, they sent us out on this CRUEL out and back (about a mile each way) that was a huge hill on the road. The advantage was that I could see whether there was anyone on my tail. And then they sent us back into downtown Grand Rivers to finish. I found it hurt more to walk or stop, so I just kept running.

I finished first female in 8:11.20. Only 9 men beat me. I’m still in disbelief, really. What an incredible experience! I can't wait to go do another! But i have some recovery to accomplish first.

The 100 Mile Challenge

This year was an incredible year of training and racing. I learned a lot. And, honestly, I've had a blast learning how to swim and ride these last few years...but there are so many other things I want to do. I had a new PR at IM this year, but I'm ready for a new challenge. This year, I'm going to do some ultras.

After pacing Chuck for Mohican 100, I knew it was something I had to try it. The depths to which one has to dig is unprecedented. The plan is to finish Tecumseh Trail marathon in December, again. And then a 50 in the spring and a 100 next fall.

I know I can do Ironman, but I'm not sure I can run 100 miles.

And after my amazing boyfriend, Marc, did Vermont 50 (in 7 hours 57 minutes)last month, there has been some chatter. After a few too many beers last night, I challened him to a 100 mile run, claiming I can beat him...so here goes...the start of a new endurance adventure..Let the games begin!!

8 Seconds

No, I'm not talking about that bull riding movie with Luke Perry. I'm talking about how many seconds over 11 hours it took me to complete IMKY.  That eight seconds is kinda haunting me.

But let's start from the beginning...

Typical race morning: have some coffee, be sure to poo, eat some food, pump tires and check bags in transition. It all happened. Then to the swim line, where my mom, dad, and Marc all found me...as did some teammates, Val, Cathie, Charlie, Pater and Amy (who was also racing). It was great to have such support so early in the game.

I will say that I was most concerned about my swim time not meeting expectations. I told Marc to not panic if I came out at 1:10 because I was expected to go about 1:05. Just before we were sent off, there was a "medical emergency" and we were stalled on the dock for close to 10 mins. And then they let us go!

I jumped in and just swam. I tried to stay long and I just focused on passing as many people as possible. Obviously, with the huge time lag, there was quite a gap between our group and the people ahead. I gat swam over right at the start but other than that, I just thought about my stroke, how my kick can help some and following through, just like at masters practice. I didn't feel particularly great, so I thought for sure I was going to come in around 1:15 again since it's not wetsuit legal. To my shock and awe, I hit the steps, looked at my watch and saw 1:02 something. wtf? I took 13 mins off my swim time. Yikes. Hooray! official Swim time 1:02.59. Holy crap, and thanks Aaron and the boys at masters.

T1 was uneventful except for the fact that I had no volunteer. I just took off my swim suit, grabbed my tri suit and peed the longest biggest pee of the day :) time 5:32

And onto the bike...and that's where the trouble began. Leading into IMKY, I was feeling good on the bike. I borrowed wheels from a buddy and he told me to get new tires, particularly the back one. Well, I picked up a tire and replaced the back one. I rode it down to transition on Saturday with now problem. Out of T1, different story. The tire was rubbing my frame. Every pedal stroke was a struggle. I pulled to the side right out of transition and tried to pull it away from the frame...and got back on...but every stroke, there was one little portion of the tire rubbing and it sounded GOD AWFUL!! Some girl looked at me and said "that's really loud". No kidding?!! I saw Marc and stopped, I was beginning to panic. Some guy tried to tell me to go back and have the mechanics look at it. Another tried to help, but then said something about not helping. So he just talked me through it...pull the wheel away from the frame, lock it down tight. It's not fully in, but it's fine. After about 4 mins (and the 2 I spent prior to that), some tears, a few curse words, I was back on the bike. Marc just yelled that I didn't lose too much time and to just settle in, which is what I knew I had to do.

I felt good after that, a little worried, but just riding. Then came the first climb...and I down shifted and the rubbing started again! DAMMIT. So, I got to the top, pulled to the side, re-adjusted, again, and went on my way. All in all, I think I probably lost close to 10 mins total. But I try to keep in mind that no race is ever going to go perfectly. I just rode. And then I lost my bottle of G2 and my water was out. I was just praying for the next aid station. I had some lonely moments out there for sure. There were times I thought about the training it took to get there and I may have shed a few tears (I'm super sentimental). And there were some dark points. But just as they'd hit, I would see a teammate or Marc or someone yelling my name and I came back to life. In fact, apparently, I smiled.

I won't lie, I was glad to see that 100 mile marker. My hooha was hurting and I wanted to run. I  was a little nauseas and i thought my fingers were swelling so I was trying to take in the gatorade perform. But I'd never tried it in training. Um, MISTAKE #1. Official time 5:46.51

Anyway, into T2. Amazing volunteer. I was a little out of it. But she helped so so much. I just grabbed shot bloks and my shoes, wiped my face on a towel and went out the tent. time: 5:30.

The run. Oh...the run. Eddy had told me not to go out too fast. I feeling awful, but I didn't want anyone to know. I knew they were already concerned about my times. I had talked with Eddy the day before about my goals. I have been running really strong this year and I knew a 3:45 wasn't out of the question. But he wanted me to keep even pacing and go go go if I felt string at mile 21. Let's just say my first mile was 7:38, but I felt like I was crawling. And I walked on the bridge and knew then it was going to be a long day. I couldn't even think about taking in food. My stomach was full and revolting. By the third aid station, I couldn't even walk straight. The volunteers were asking if I was ok. So, I put my sunglasses down so they couldn't see my eyes and went off running. Aid station #4, I hit the port-a-potty for a few mins. Let me just say that on a hot day, when you come out of a port-a-potty, it feels like you're walking into antarctica. OK, anyway...until mile 9, I couldn't take in anything but a swig of coke or some water. Then, finally a gel and I swear, I ressurected from the dead!! I found that taking calories every 3rd aid station would be my plan. Then that plan failed me as I made the roundabout through town and once again felt awful.

Bryan ran with me, asked how I felt, talked me through it. I told him I would come back around. I was nauseous and my back was killing me. Once I concentrated on my form, I was ok. Seeing double digit mile markers was amazing!! Particularly mile 16. Not sure why. But I knew I was on my way home. When I passed mile 18, I heard some lady going the other way say she had less than 5 miles. and I almost cried. At mile 20, I knew I only had a 10k left, so I just figured, the quicker I go, the quicker the pain is over. I had been doing this "run til the aid station and then walk through it" pattern.And I kept that up through the remainder of the race. Those last few miles HURT. With a mile and a half to go, I just went. I think I had fire in my eyes. I knew it was going to be so so so close to break 11 hours. I finished the run in 3:59.16.

Total time: 11:00.08. Eight freaking seconds.

Good enough for 6th in my age group. And there were 4 kona spots, all claimed before roll down.

Oh, well, maybe next time.

Unplugging

It's been a stressful week or so...lots on the plate. So, tonight, despite having a plan of meeting up for a dinner party with some tri friends, i'm unplugging. I have turned off the phone, the TV, music...I picked up a book and I'm catching up on blogs.

I had a pretty successful weekend. Saturday morning was a local 5k. I have not raced a 5k on the road in quite some time. But the owner of Bishop's Bicycles (for whom I ride) wanted us to come out and represent in Milford. I pre-registered. And let me tell you, had I not, I'm pretty sure I would've slept in. After a night of hoppy brews and chicken nachos, I awoke to pouring rain!

Luckily, it let up just before the race and led to nearly perfect conditions, except for some screaming humidity. I lined up after a couple mile warm-up with some svelte girls who looked a little serious and at the sound of the gun, I took off. I kept it under control and clicked away the first mile in 6:16. That's when the girl I was running with dropped back. I knew my second mile was slower (6:30) and I tried to pick it up again the last mile, but it was much like doing track work alone...there was no one around. Last mile was 6:26. Total time of 19:49 and good enough for the win.

This race was to benefit St Vincent dePaul, so there were all kinds of goodies being raffled away at the end. I took home my trophy, 4 vouchers for free DQ cones AND I won a $50 gift card to Applebee's. Not a bad return on a $15 race entry.

I had a long run on the schedule for that day, so when I got home and walked the dogs, I went back out for another 10 miles. 7:40 pace. Legs were feeling good, but it was sweltering by noon...

Sunday morning was Ride Cincinnati!! It's a ride to raise money for breast cancer research. Amazingly, they raised over $1million. Quite a few from our team were out there and we all stayed together until the turn around at mile 31 and then we kinda split up on the way back into town. I got to catch up with friends and gain some new ones...and I got in 62 miles before 10am. Not a bad way to start the day. (i;m the short one in the middle acting goofy. go figure)

Today was back to work...and work is getting a little crazy. Nearing end of quarter. And I've been battling some things, mentally, with training and family and relationships. And I've had my fair share of run-ins with being ill already this season, so I'm taking care of me, trying to reduce the stress level that makes me feel on pins and needles with a million little obligations or hurtful words or critical remarks. Because I want to be well and I want to do well. I have goals for the season and if I allow others' wants and needs come before mine, I'm losing sight. And sometimes, maybe I do that as a means of distraction from accomplishment?

"Each time I follow my deepest desires, fear is there wringing her hands, cautioning me with her litanies of what-ifs. I do not try to counter with reasonable arguments about acceptable risks. I no longer try to shame myself into action with admonishments to stop being the wimp, nor do i pretend to be unafraid. I simply move in the direction I have chosen to go, taking care to do the things I know will help me keep the fear at a level that allows me to continue to feel it and yet still keep moving. I put myself to bed early, eat well, sit with friends, take long walks by the lake. I have learned that doing things the hardest way provides no currency to be traded for greater future rewards."  - Oriah

updates on life

So, since TTT, I decided I'd take a week or two of easy training before ramping up again for IMKY training. It's gonna be a loooong season with ITU LC Worlds in November. The first week, I did take it easy....until Memorial Day weekend. That Saturday, I rode about 80 miles, most of whic was with my buddy, Ack. And then Sunday, I just did an easy 8 miles. It was hot and my legs were toast still. Then Monday, a 50 mile ride, which started with Pater and ended alone. I did get to start my cycling tan lines, which are pretty rockin' at this point.

On Tuesday, I started a cleanse, with supplements and by later that day, I was sick. That's when the "unplanned but likely necessary rest" began. I felt ok by friday, went for a speedy 6 mile run in the morn. And hung out friday night. Saturday, I went for a run in the morning to get my car...and felt GREAT!

As I was nearing home, in said car (aka beater), I got put in time out by a cop. Long story... I was in the wrong. I mean, I just wanted to get home and I didn't put anyone in danger, but I was being impatient. So, this cop told me to pull into this parking lot and I did. And after all was said and done, he never said another word to me. He just wanted me to suffer. And i was soooo hungry!!

So, I went to Kroger and got a veggie roll and decided to drive up to the bike shop where I used to work to check things out. before I left, I got really sleepy, but I told myself I could take a nap when I got back home. By the time I walked into Wheelie Fun, it wasn't two minutes before that veggie roll was coming back up. And let me tell ya, soy and wasabi kinda burns on the way back up....Another 25 mins or so and I was back to the toilet. The boys gave me some Gatorade and I was on my way back home to sleep (yes!!). And that's when I hit the stand still traffic jam...and saw the ambulance, police and fire truck go by. And then, I felt it coming again... and I had to open my door and vomit up the gatorade.

Let me tell ya....I haven't puked in a long long time. And it's not fun, kids.

But, by Sunday, I was feeling a bit better so I went for a nice hard 2 hour ride by myself. And then to the pool for some sun. and fun. and beer. and sun.

I got a little fried. But it was worth it. And Monday evening, I was planning on a nice easy lone ride. Put in my ipod headphones and headed out...and caught a dingleberry. Now, no one likes a dingleberry. Amiright? Guy hung on my wheel after I passed. And after 3 miles, I asked if he wanted to pull and all he could say was "no, i like the pace!". wha??? So, I kept hammering and on a downhill, he and his buddy passed. Of course, because they each had at least 40 pounds on me. And he then told me "you're doing Great!" Um....really? I don't really need your encouragement. It was ME pulling YOU aruond for the last five miles at 21 mph. k, thanks.

Anyway....I get to the turn around and actually see some guys I know and would actually enjoy riding with. So i too out my earphone and I caught them and it was a hammerfest home, in which two of us fell off.

And tonight's 7x400 workout was feeling that ride. The workout called for 5k pace. And they were all within 3 seconds of 1:30, if not right on it, so that was nice.

In other news, I'm single again. But that's really no surprise since I'm not sure I've declared myself as in a relationship. Guess things happen fast when you never blog. But this should allow for more time to do so....so expect some more interesting stuff, rather than just boring workouts.

Oh yeah. I also got another pug. Her name is Carmen and she's fucking adorable. Has a retard tongue. But I don't even care.

The Good Life

Yes, I have it; The good life.

Despite a little setback with my kidneys, which appears to be fine now, training appears to be going really well. I mean, I''ve taken my secret weapon out for 5am mile repeats on the track and came in at 6:12, 6:12, 6:12 and 6:14. And I've had some great long and hard rides. Judi and I did some good mileage despite getting caught in a dowpour the weekend before last.

Yesterday was, yet another, rainy day in Cincy. And also the day of the Flying PIg Marathon and Half Marathon. I partook in the latter. I had a goal in mind, but I was very afraid of this goal. Last year, I ran 1:33.40 and it was my first half mary. This was my second, but I'm running much better this year, so I wanted to go 1:30. It's a hilly course. And I had a good plan in place. 

But, as we all know, things don't always go according to plan. I started out with the 1:30 half/3:00 full pace group. And for the first 5 miles, things felt easy. And then, I got off track, mentally. I started thinking about how much it might hurt later, I got away from how I was feeling at the moment. I got a cup of water and the pace group gapped away. I totally panicked. I knew the big hill was coming and I knew i didn't want to surge, so I stayed back, freaked out. Marc was with me, and told me to just break the hill into sections. I did. My pace dropped as I watched my Garmin pace sink further than i liked. I gave a kid a high five on the way up the hill. I got to the top, no longer able to even see the pace group. At the top of the hill, I totally broke. My 1:30 was out the window. I knew it. Despite Marc's encouraging words and telling me we were going to "reel some bitches in", I stopped in the middle of the road, shouted "i can't do this. it's too much pressure". It was right before the full/half split. the girl right in front of me yelled back at me "Just run. I'm doing the whole thing". So I did.

I picked myself up, and started running.

Marc turned off to meet me later (he's doing Cleveland in two weeks, so he just had to be out there for support for his runners). The next couple miles, I just tried to regain my composure. I saw some friends cheering and then my dad (who took this pic - eerily similar to last year with the dark rain). I passed through mile 9 at a 1:33 pace and then mile 10 at a 1:34 pace. WTF? I got pissed. And then I just decided to enjoy myself if I was going to be slow. I thanked all the officers blocking traffic, I smiled at the crowd and just got in a better place.

Marc rejoined me and we went downhill. I focused on keeping my legs beneath me and just churned along, refusing to look at my splits, but feeling the vibration and beep with each mile that ticked by. Marc told me I was "smoking it", but I didn't know whether to believe it since he'd been telling me I was doing good all along. Once back into downtown, we had an out and back and i saw the pace group...not too far ahead, maybe a couple mins?

Before he turned off again, with just a few tenths of a mile left, Marc told me I was running 6:20s. WHHAAAAT? Really? I kicked it in as hard as I could and finished 13th in 1:31.31.

I have a lot to take away from this race. It was a PR, which I should be thrilled about...but I let my head get the best of me for a bit. The good news, I was able to regain my composure and get my head back in the game. So, I basically need to figure out how to not reach that breaking point.

I've talked to quite a few people about it today. My coach suggested I shout at those negative thoughts when they creep in. And my training buddy from IM#1 reminded me of just how grateful i should be to be able to do these things. A coworker just thought the whole things was amazing. And Marc let me know he's been there before.

We have good days and bad, but in the end, a good life is what it's all about. And even if every day isn't a good day, this is a good life.

Wow. What happened??

I have not posted in, well, a veeeerry long time (by blogging standards). And it's not for lack of things to talk about. SO much has happened. In fact, the amount of activity in my life is the very reason I've been away so long. In the last few weeks, I have beat my boyfriend at beer mile and set a new Cincy record of 9:08. I promise next time it will be faster.

And I've moved into my own place. I have all my stuff again. I slept in my bed for the first time in ten months last weekend. All my stuff is OUT of storage. the morning we moved it all, I almost cried. It's been a hell of a year and, once again, I made it out alive.

I've made some new friends with Bishops new Ladies Cycling team. And I rode my first road race as apart of the team. And then during the second race (which was very hilly and suited to me, my rear derailleur cable snapped. when i was in big 12. awesome).

I've also gotten in some epic training. I have a new secret weapon. And he's helping me run fast. Mile repeats of 6:08. 6:03, 5:55 (after a good number of hundreds). And he encouraged me, standing on the sidelines cheering at 5:30am as I have a meltdown cause the following week I can only manage to run 6:16s. He gets up with me at 4:30 to run a couple hours before work. And he joins me for my brick runs.

I've been on the trainer quite a bit and waiting for the weather to break! But at least I have some bad ass (literally) bibs for our new tri team cycling kit.

And swims have been fabulously. Our coach is getting married this weekend and we gave him a pretty good send off with t-shirts with his face on the back and a funny quip on the front. And this is what we all look like at 5:30 am. Awesome hair.

I got in my first century with new friends yesterday. And got rained on. And i'm not sure it got above 45 degrees yesterday. More awesome hair.

And now I have to jet off again for a group ride and some QT with Judi!

It's all good...i think

So, my little tiny Clubber appears to be doing well. We had blood drawn at the vet on Monday and the results all came back fine. She's been full of spunk and vigor. She gets a little sketchy at night. I think she knows that what occurred wasn't normal and might be a little frightened...dogs are way smarter than we tend to give credit. My senses are also on high alert, so when she awakes every hour and sits up on the edge of the bed, I awake. Sleep has been a bit rough this week...

But training has been pretty fabulous. I even got outside for a 90 minute ride on Wednesday after work with Ack! My dumbass didn't bring shoe covers...and when it's cold enough to wear full-fingered gloves, it's probably cold enough to, at least have toe covers. It was great to be outside though. Because every other day, we've had some torrential downpours. And this morning, it snowed! blah.

Thursday morning, swim practice was lacking some of the super fast guys, so I moved up to a fast lane. And, wow, I love it up there. I get a challenge and I have fun. There were some pulls sets, some fin sets, some kick sets, some fast swimming and all in all, 3700.

Runs have also been going quite well. Last night, I ran straight through the production crew for Clooney's new movie The Ides of March, that they're filming here. I almost stopped and asked one of the security guys why all the trailers and pretty people standing about smoking cigarettes... Glad I didn't because it occurred to me what it was while I was out there.

Tomorrow is the Frosty 14 trail race. And a bunch of my buddies are down the USVI for 8 Tuff miles, which is some insane hill race in paradise. Should be fun for all!

Broccoli for breakfast

Whoa! What a week! Last Saturday was a six hour ROGAINE with my buddy. For those of you who don't know what this is...it's an orienteering race. Basically, you get a topography map at 1/24,000 to scale, plotted with checkpoints that you must hit to gain points. The faster you make the course and the more checkpoints you hit (or the more you hit with higher points, the higher the points, the more difficult they are to get to) the better off you are. Some trails are marked, some roads are marked, but not all are. And many times, you have to bushwhack.

We had fun! It was wet and cold and we got rain, ice, sleet AND snow throughout the day.

Unfortunately, all that fun bushwhacking through briar patches left me with some not so pretty legs...

Guess it's a good thing that it's winter and mighty cold in these parts so they weren't on for show!

It also just so happened that I had a scheduled recovery week... that means only 11 training hours scheduled! And I needed that because it was also a week of Super Bowl parties, corporate sales meetings and a need a to take some time off the legs after 3 full weeks of pretty intense training.

But....just my luck, my legs were aching the couple days post race (my buddy is a sub-3 hour Pig marathoner, so we were SPRINTINg those last few miles)...and we had a major kick set at swim practice on Tuesday morning. I suck at kicking and I kinda hate it already, so 1k of kicking is brutal, even without the pain setting in. The first few times through the set, I took it easy. Then I realized it was kinda loosening me up (I am ALL endurance, so this shouldn't strike me as odd, but it always does) so for the last couple, I was right there. I just put my head down, kicked and got on.

The next few days are somewhat of a blur. I did train every day. But I also had two work dinners, Wednesday and Thursday evenings. And the start of dinner was close to my typical bedtime on Thursday, so I was out til midnight. Ugh!

After a cleanse, things like NY strip, beer, red wine, creamed spinach, cheesecake, well, let's just say they feel like poison to the body. Friday wasn't the best day I've had. But the good thing about having days where you binge on things you don't typically do, you regain some focus. And you re-ignite a fire for those things that are healthy. And you want to get fitter and faster. Not fatter.

So today, it was an early run, followed by broccoli for breakfast (see! I'm finally tying it in:)) And then oatmeal for lunch (instead of pizza that they ordered at the shop).  Backward? Maybe. But veggies tend to fill me up with the fiber, so I kinda like them in the morn!

And even though I'm working 6 days a week. And I feel INCREDIBLY guilty for leaving Clubby lots of times, I did find that the bike shop work was very gratifying today. I love the people I work with there. And I met lots of new people. Conversed with old friends. And people I didn't even know had an interest told me they're fans of the blog.

So, thanks for reading.

And, damn...it's still like 40 degrees outside. Time for an awesome four hour ride tomorrow!!

Oh man...

Life has been kinda crazy as of late for various reasons. This past week has been a bit of a blur. There was a three-day weekend that went by all too fast. And lots of work. And meetings. And training sessions. Though not much in the way of socializing.

Saturday morning started off with a lactate threshold test on the bike. And then off to work at the bike shop. Wow. I missed that place. SOooo much different than corporate world. By the time I got home that night, I was ready to crash.

Sunday was a nice long run. I awoke willing to give my left leg for a pancake, but instead had a banana...and off I went for 13 miles. It was glorious. And cold, like 21 degrees. But I enjoyed every minute of hills. I later went to the gym for some weights and core work.

Monday was the Holiday. And I actually worked from home. I awoke and worked and decided not to leave the house until the work was done. That was before a two hour trainer ride, which, to my surprise was somewhat taxing. Coach has us doing these one leg drills. I am so not skilled. But I am convinced that I will improve.

This week at work has been pretty insane, so I find myself reaaaaally looking forward to my training sessions. Ironically, I did mile repeats on the track yesterday morning in 40 degree weather. And today after work, I cancelled my run because we were getting more white death. By the time i was making the trek home at 4:30, there was about 4-5 inches. And the snow kept getting under my pants leg and chilling my ankles.

So, this cleanse? Um,...it's not exactly easy. Especially when training 2-3 hours a day. In fact, tomorrow I get to introduce organic free range chicken and fish. And. I. Can't. Wait. The guys at work are having a heyday with this. Every day, I get invited to go eat lunch at the pizza buffet. Or Chipotle. Or to join them for coffee. Or go to happy hour. Fucking hilarious. Tonight, I caved and had a heaping spoon of natural peanut butter. Nuts are not on the cleanse, but seriously, I'm not out to purge my system, just to get rid of the preservatives and crap in my diet. So I don't feel so bad. I just needed something to make me not feel ravenous. I really wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, so at least I didn't go off the deep end.

I don't know I've lost ant significant weight, but I do feel better on the whole. Save for last night, I've slept better this past ten nine days than I have in a very long time. And my legs aren't swelling like they usually do with a heavy training load. And I generally just feel good. In fact, this morning at swim practice, a fellow swimmer told me I was "on fire today". I'm not sure if I was actually swimming any faster, but I didn't feel like I just wanted to stop.

A more intense hunger and a bit of fatigue has hit the last couple days and despite that, I was thinking last night about how if I went to a pub right now, I most definitely wouldn't be ordering a burger and fries. Too heavy! And I think a large portion of bread and/or cheese would make me feel lethargic. I'm quite enjoying these veggie based meals. So, don't be surprised if my diet changes for the better permanently. If that's all I get from this, I'm a happy camper.

Off to a good start

Over the weekend, I got in two fabulous outdoor rides and two longish runs. I also moved back to my old 'hood and made lots of food. It was a damn near fantastic.

Firday was so gloriously sunny and warm, with just a little crazy wind. I mean, shorts on the bike on December 31st?!? Yowza.

I had planned to start the year with a 5 mile race....but I woke to rain, which didn't scare me...but then my buddy called and told me it was $35 registration. And I just got my first real paycheck the day before. I think living like a miser cheapened me up. $7 a mile, or more than $1 a minute just seemed to rich for my blood. So, I bagged it. Instead, I got myself settled into my new digs. And that's when I discovered that I may have a clothes addiction. Half my clothes are still in storage and I have 32 tank tops. I also have about 14 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of black tights, two huge drawers full of winter training clothes... just at this location! And I've downsized every time I've moved (which was more than a few times this year) and I haven't bought much of anything in the last six months.

But whatever. I waited 'til the sun decided to shine and went out for a nice 10 miles at a brisk pace. It was sooo nice to go out and run an old familiar course. Again, in shorts and a sports bra. The temps were dropping, but I was taking full advantage of the warmness that was.

Sunday morning was a scheduled run with a buddy of mine. Unfortunately, he bailed without really letting me know (hence the word: bailed). Fortunately, I recruited a cyclist buddy that signed up for IM St George so I was not alone. It was a coldish run. I went from wearing shorts and a sports bra on Saturday to tights, sleeves, jackets, gloves, hat on Sunday. I wasn't planning to go fast or hard, but I think the pace ended up fairly spirited.

After 13 miles, I arrived home to a text from Judi asking if I wanted to ride. I had just enough time to down a smoothie, a coffee and warm myself up before piling on riding layers and hitting some good hills for a couple hours. Let me just say that 30 degrees in crazy heavy wind is not the most fun riding I've ever had. And it's much more exhausting than you might think, but we had some good laughs and we're building back our friendship in a good way.

By the time I got home, I was ready to scarf some homemade black beans and rice, thaw in a hot shower and cuddle up with Clubber.

I think the only good thing about Monday is that I got to make the two mile trek to work and then again after work. The legs are feeling a little trashed as we acclimate back into base training, so the active recovery is a nice bonus. Plus, not fighting traffic and paying exorbitant parking fees, not to mention getting to watch the sun rise AND set is pretty cool.

idiocracy

This morning, by 7am, I had already completed an 8 mile run, had coffee, a protein shake and was uploading pics on my netbook. Why? Well, it's a long story, but my phone died, which I typically use as an alarm clock. So, I was simply dependent upon my wrist watch and internal clock to wake me. When I saw that my watch read 5:15, I popped out of bed, got some coffee, took the Clubber out... and then saw that it was actually 4:36. Ugh. I hadn't set my watch back with the end of daylight savings. In short, I am an idiot.

The good news? This is what I was wearing for the run. In Ohio. On November 22. And it wasn't on a dare. And I was sweating! It doesn't even seem right. But I'm not complaining.

And yesterday, our team had a swim clinic. When seeing the bruises and scrapes up my legs, coach asked what happened. "I fell out running on the trails. I dunno. I'm an idiot?" his response? "We all are. Some of us just bruise easier."

Luckily, I went to my niece's birthday party Saturday evening and took a few laps around the roller skating rink. And didn't fall! But I did feel very unstable. And silly. But it was fun.

Oh...what else? Well, Thursday, I had a four hour interview with a bank. I'd forgotten what it was like to wear a suit and heels all day. I suppose I've been a little spoiled with wearing torn jeans and tanks and hoodies. I then stopped by my old office to cause some disruption. And then home for a quick change before heading to a wine tasting fundraiser for the Salvation Army. And it was on my way there that I began to panic a little

Until this point, I just assumed that the easy thing to do for right now would be to go back to what I know, career-wise. And then I realized what I'd be resigning myself to. Flourescent lighting. And long days. And lack of creativity. And sitting at a desk. In front of a computer. All day. Every day. And I'm not sure I'm really cut out for that. I suppose time will tell. I still have so many questions.

So, Friday, I got up and went for a run. And had lunch with old coworkers, stopped at Reser's to hang out before the moonlight ride, went for another run (which was better than the first!), got a quick snack and headed back to the bike shop for the social ride. And afterward, there was some more socializing. With beer and snacks and lots of laughs and fun, new friends and old.

In short, my days have been full. And yesterday, all I wanted to do was chill out and sit on the couch and read. But, as I mentioned, we had a swim clinic. And then Ack and I went for a trail run and then I had errands to run. Eight hours after leaving the house in the morning, I was back home to FINALLY sit down and read. But I fell asleep on the couch.

I awoke later, after dreaming of tootsie rolls and crying phone calls, to finish the Celestine Prophecy. And that book has me thinking. The premise is that there are no coincidences. Hmm. Who knows?

This coming week is, again, sure to be full with work and play and Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Time to get working on Christmas gifts and baking. And I suppose I should have a taper plan in place for this trail marathon in less than two weeks...

did ya really mean it when you said "talk to ya soon, Amanda"?

it's cold and rainy today. and i have a belly full of black beans and rice spiced with some home grown chili peppers. and a bloody knee. a nearly dead telephone. a half read copy of The Celestine Prophecy. a little black pug snoring on my lap.

i can hear cars passing. the tick of a clock. and the rain.

the clock now reads 4:14. i intended to go for another run at 4. i declined an invite to a winter beer tasting this evening. so at least the run can occur later. maybe when the rain lets up.

but truth is, i'm kinda comfy right here on the couch with a book. i mean, it's not like i've done nothing today.

swim practice was awesome. per usual. i've said it a million times, but that group is just fun. and when i don't psych myself out, i usually surprise myself with what i'm capable of obtaining. it's strange really. i thought for sure there was no way i could do 5x100 on 1:30 where one of the 25s was breast stroke. but wouldn't ya know, it was done! and then there was a massive kick set. and then the real test. 4x500 on 7:00. i can do one 500 on 7:00, but 4?!? so, i went easy, stay relaxed for the first one. and nailed it. and then the second one, i started to panic. and the self-doubt crept in like you wouldn't believe. and i just let it go down the toilet and that one was like 7:14. i began to really envy those two lanes down doing 400 on 7:00. or even those four lanes down doing 300s. i remembered when a 300 on 7:00 would've been a challenge for me. it really wasn't so long ago. two and a half years ago... and then i don't even know what happened. but i think the whole lane fell apart. i sat out a 50. and tried to hang on. and the last 400 was definitely back to a relaxed pace. and we finished up with fast 50s.

that was before i hit the trails today. and took a beating. i ran into an old co-worker at the trail head. strangely. and then headed out on a familiar loop. i was a couple miles in when my foot snagged a root and i went skidding. i had leaves stuffed down my shorts and up the sleeves of my fleece. my left knee was dripping blood. my right hip and leg were covered in dirt and scratched. and i sat there, motionless, pain receptors firing like crazy. and i may have whimpered a little before hoisting myself up and dusting myself off. i momentarily considered cutting the run short and going back to my car. but everything loosened up again and i was content, dripping sweat from my forehead and breathing cool air.

now my knee is bandaged. and my head is groggy. and mine eyes want sleep. and i'll dream of that phone call. before i go for that next run.

randomosity

I've not been blogging much as of late simply because, well, I find I'm drawing a blank. I mean, I'm doing lots, I just can't seem to find much worthy of writing. Perhaps I'm just too brain-dead after all the activity to be clever. But here's a smattering of thoughts and actions.

 - My ass hurts. Literally. I guess you know you haven't been riding enough when you go out for a couple hours and your bum hurts the next day.

 - But that's mostly because I've been running much more. Sometimes, it's twice a day. Sometimes, it's long. Sometimes, it's short. Sometimes, it's fast. Sometimes it's focused. And other times, my mind just wanders. And on that note, I was thinking about how Rockstar Tri said he "didn't get it" when I posted about my random thoughts while running. My answer....no, not everyone's thoughts wander while they're pounding the pavement or hitting the trails. Some folks have an inability to focus on anything otehr than how it feels, how uncomfortable they feel and when teh hell it might be over. I mean, we all get like that at times, but the people I know that think I'm a whack job for running all have this in common - they seem to be incapable of letting go the mind.

 - I love to brush my teeth. Sometimes, there is not a more satisfying feeling than a clean mouth.

 - I have a trail marathon in less than three weeks. And I'm being talked into a 50k in January. And I'm slightly hesitant.

 - I've been having some strange dreams. Last night, I had my long hair back. I mean, it was as though it were short and then suddenly it was long, but still short underneath. And i absolutely loved it. I think it's time to start growing it out again.

 - I had an interview this morning. And I have another on Thursday. If I get the one Thursday, I'm going on a vacation prior to starting.

 - I saw a comic the other night at a club. Hilarious. Much better than a movie. Just in case you're wanting good date ideas.

 - I also found out I really suck at bowling. Particularly after beer #4 or so. And the clientele at the bowling alley hasn't changed much in the last 20 years. I mean, the faces are different. But the styles are the same as they were back then.

 - But I am very skilled at Jenga.

 - I love this quote on soulmates. and even if it isn't real, I'm apt to believe it.:

"A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life..." — Elizabeth Gilbert

 - It gets dark way too early these days. It's time for more Spinervals. But it's so bright outside when swim practice is over.

If you build it, it will come

After my tri season ended in early October, I made the decision (and commitment) to the Tecumseh Trail Marathon on December 4. I waited about four days post Nationals...and then I started running. And running. And running...

And suddenly, my run legs appeared! It took a couple weeks of not-much-cycling-but-miles-and-miles-of-running, but they're here. In fact, just Tuesday, I went out for a 10 mile run before swim practice and then went for an 8 mile run in the evening. And I averaged 7:30s for that second run. It was flat, but still.

So, besides running, I've been...um, I don't know what I've been doing. But I have gotten a few job leads and I have an interview tomorrow and one next week. It'll be nice to have some funds again. And sign up for a race or two. And get a mountain bike. Wow. Maybe I should just focus on getting a job first.

I've also been cooking. I made these amazing pumpkin pancakes (which were great fuel for my runs) the other day. And my black beans and rice keep getting better with each new batch.

Oh and I went riding for a couple hours with my buddy the other day. And I've been hanging out with cyclists (duh.) and cheering at cross races. Because I love boys that ride bikes. I saw this video at work the other day...and I wanna marry him. Just because of his skills. And because I love Band of Horses.

if it weren't for running, i might never sleep

I've heard people talk about how they just can't get to sleep because they have so much going on in their heads. I guess it's that they're sooo busy during the day that they don't have time to worry or think upon certain things and all that anxiety culminates in difficulty in falling asleep.

I don't really have that problem. I can fall asleep within about 10 mins of my head hitting the pillow. And I sleep through just about anything. Unless it's hot. Sleep and sweat don't mix well for me. And it seems I've pretty much always had the gift of sleeping soundly. Then again, I've been running for almost as long as I can remember too.

Which brings me to my point... All those things that would typically keep me up at night? Those are the things that I think about when I'm out running.

For example, this morning's run went something like this...in my head...

"I'm so glad I got my CPR certification yesterday. Now I just need to scan it and send it over to that recruiter. I guess I'll do that at Rob's. Hope he doesn't mind. I wonder if we're still hanging out? Wonder what we'll have for lunch? I have some asparagus....and what goes well with asparagus? mmm...last time he made those bacon wrapped filets. Cause we probably shouldn't go out. I'm poor. Yeah. I need a job. A real job. Maybe I'll just take another corporate banking job? Then again, I don't really want to take a job just to take a job. Besides, the balls to quit that job is pretty much the only thing I gained out of that Chris travesty. It'd be a shame to just throw that away. I could always ask Rod for a job. Damn, I was supposed to stop by and see him downtown last week. Oops. [i suddenly realize the Dead Weather "Die by the Drop" is playing on my iPod]Oh! I love this song. Maybe it's because it's dark? Is it really true that the music I tend to really like is "a little dark" like he said? Ok, I guess "let's dig a little grave" isn't exactly warm and fuzzy. Sushi was good the other night. I think I like him. Wonder when I'll see him again? I have to make sure I get to swim practice on time. And I need to stop and get gas because I'm on E. I can still get in a few more miles... I really miss running down here in Newport. The bridges. And the river. And being so close to everything. I wonder if my old landlord has any other places for rent? Or that chiropractor that had that cool old building across the street? oohh...maybe I could just go back to my old life? I sure am glad I thought to pack a pb&j. That's gonna taste yummy. Especially with some hot coffee. I am more than likely going to need a nap today. I need to get a ride or two in soon. I could just start spinervals again. Should I take a left or a right here? I hope there aren't any creepers around. I mean, it's almost 5am, so they're probably sleeping, right? I have to stop by my storage unit and get some more clothes! And a coat or three. And my vacuum. DON'T forget the vacuum. And don't forget to call that guy. And email that other guy. Oh, that email I got yesterday was weird. I think I won't respond. There sure are a lot of cops out patrolling... I think most of these cops are nice down here. They must think I'm a total weirdo. "

And on and on....

what time is it?

because i am exhausted!

i'm trying to remember...all the days are running together. i believe saturday began with a run and was followed by a day at the shop and then hanging out around the fire pit with my dad and step mom and friends. but i also got a text from dad while at work saying "rockstar got a package in the mail..." a gift from the double x master of funk. yes, a sexy pair of mavic cycling shoes!!!

And on sunday, i got a chance to go out and try them. so light, so stiff. and so white. three hours on the roads with my buddy, ack, and then...off to play some cornhole, eat a greasy burger from terry's turf club and carve some pumpkins. yum. all in a day's work.

monday was work again and then some trail running.

the real fun began today. ya know, when the alarm went off at 4am and i couldn't figure out what day it was. but it was out the door and off for 3600 yards in the water and then a wonderful torture session on the TRX and with medicine balls and planks. it's amazing how much strength i've lost since giving up my gym membership at the end of june. i will be feeling this tomorrow. i think i can feel my abs developing even now.

i then went to the library and just as i was printing out the last document for the dream gig, we were ushered to the bathroom, yes, the bathroom, for safe have from the tornado warning. the greater cincinnati area finally got some rain today. and with it, a whole shit ton of wind. it was like we've been complaining all summer "where's the rain? where's the rain?" and then, BAM! careful what you wish for.

so, i finished up there and went down to reser's bike shop to hang out for a bit. i had every intention of going for a long-ish run this evening, but when i got an offer to hang out with my ten year old niece for the evening...well, i couldn't pass it up.

the evening was filled with homework and hilarity. one of the first questions out of her mouth? "so, do you have a new boyfriend yet?" hahaha. "um. nope." and then she was asking about my last serious relationship "i mean, do you think he really liked you and stuff?" it was so cute. and naive. wouldn't it kinda be nice if relationships were just that simple? i like you. nothing can interfere with that. life is good.

and then we went to the bookstore, where a handsome young chap held the door open for us and after saying "thank you" all she could do was look at me and giggle. oh dear, i fear we have a young Amanda on our hands. she's all flirty and curious. and she's totally into fashion but wants to go out for track next year. and she says boys are gross, but i have a feeling that's because she thinks that's what she's supposed to say. then again, boys are kinda gross sometimes.

so yeah, it was a good day. so much so that i'm bleary-eyed and it's getting difficult to keep my eyes open. and i have a long run to accomplish in the morning.

busy, busy

Since I arrived home from Tour de Beer, my schedule has been quite hectic. I registered for the Tecumseh Trail Marathon on December 4 in Bloomington, IN. AND i went back to masters swim practice. And I got in two rides with boys. And I'm getting everything together for my dream job. Ahhh...
I took three whole weeks out of the water. And this left me very well rested. and very scared about going back. would i even remember how to swim? would i have any endurance? will i even fit into my suit? would i make it through practice?

Well, fortunately, swimming is a bit like riding a bike. once you know how to do it, it comes back quickly. and while my muscular endurance isn't quite what it was, meaning i tire more easily when doing pull sets, i haven't really lost my cardio endurance, so i can make it through practice without problem. and my shoulders are only slightly achy today. but that probably has more to do with the two hour trail run and 90 min bike i did yesterday AFTER practice.

I hit the trails Monday before work. and i got lost, which is great. just not when i have to get to work and this creates a conflict with getting there in timely fashion.

I spent almost three hours riding on Tuesday at a nice, easy pace with an aforementioned pro, who really is just like any other buddy of mine. he just happens to get paid to ride bikes. and then we went and had thanksgiving (ie - loooootts of food) for lunch. and i ran some errands for a friend, which led to the ride yesterday.

I was "owed one" so after masters and a two hour trail run, where i didn't fall once (ok, maybe it's because i'm so fat and slow right now. ugh) i joined a friend for an easy ride and then was treated to dinner. and quite possibly, the most tasty brownie i've ever had.

outside of training, I'm gunning for this job I wanted about two years ago that i brushed aside because i met a boy. stupid girl. anyway, it's a field instructor position for adult wilderness therapy out in Utah. So, i've got my letters of recommendation all lined up and i'm hopeful. oh, i want this bad.

And i went to see Jackass in 3D, where i gagged more than i ever have in a training session. those dudes are SICK. the sweat cocktail gives me nightmares. and the slingshot port-a-pottie is quite possibly the most vulgar thing i can imagine. i mean, really, he had to have had shit caked in his ears and other crevices for days. at what point does the stench go away? ughh.

and today i slept in. ya know, until 7am. and i've been catching up on email and blogs. and prepping for another long trail run. i want to make it through this trail marathon in one piece. and we already got our "off season" training plan for next week. Oh, and two of my teammates just got their pro cards. woo hoo!

Can you hear me?

My morning run was absolutely fabulous. It was about 54 degrees. And breezy. I went out and at about the 2 mile mark, I was a couple minutes ahead of typical time to get there. And by the 3.5 mile mark, it was four and half minutes. And I just felt light. And good. And I'm going into taper week...for the qualifier for ITU 2011 Long-Course World Champs.

But yesterday....Yesterday was a different story. I woke up feeling crappy. And ill.

I get a little too cerebral at times. And I listen to a lot of music. And I like to read. And I enjoy bouncing ideas off others. I find it healing to discuss issues with those I find to have some experience. Or insight. Or knowledge.

So, as I was telling a friend of mine about my busted up self-esteem (and he was attempting to build it back up) I leaked out that I am not one who wishes to re-build myself with the compliments of others. I know (because I learned the hard way) that I can't cling to another's sense of my worth to gain self-worth. And I was sent this quote.
"Self esteem is your capacity to recognize your worth and value despite your human flaws and weaknesses. Your value as a person isn't earned; it isn't conditional; can't be added to or subtracted from. Your essential worth is neither greater or lesser than that of any other human being. It can't be. Self-esteem is about being, not doing. You have worth simply because you're alive" - Terrence Real

And while I could come up with a million little arguements to negate this claim, it led me to think...as much as I don't want someone else to help rebuild my self-esteem, I am more than willing to allow someone else to tear me down. Where's the logic in that? I have allowed nearly every ounce of the good things I feel about ME to go down the toilet because.... why? Because someone I loved felt like I was worth walking away from. And that I wasn't worthy of following through on. And that all the little promises were just words. And everything that was meant to be was just a lie. And I guess I let that sink in too deep.

But one person has never made me into someone. And one person can't keep me from being someone. So maybe I'm just vascillating?

I find myself swinging from angry to numb. And when I'm angry, I want someone to blame. And who's the easy target? Him. But it's not reality. I have allowed it. I am to blame. And, yet, I'm the only one who can forgive myself.

But, just in case you read this, this is what I want to say to you almost every day.