..tonight, Saturday, with a young steed. A Masi, to be exact. Yeah, Pathetic. Saturday night and I was out on my bike. But it was soooo beautiful out. And I'd been at the shop. And on my feet for eight hours. So it just felt like the right thing to do.
It's been a weird week. Full of ups and downs. Some mornings, I wake up and think FML. And others, I get up, go through the motions and get by. Wow. Sounds depressing. But not really.
I mean, Wednesday, I melted. It was like 105 degrees outside and I got on my Masi, tried to find a good route to Wheelie fun, where I work, got lost (stupid me and copying down a cue sheet, for, like, the fourth time, wrong!), finally found the shop, hung out for a few, refilled bottles with water and nuun, rode back. Against the wind. Uphill. And had a meltdown. The kind of screaming, wheezing for air, screaming, bawling crying that makes you stop on the side of the road and assess your sanity.
And then I rode home in silence. I showered, attempted to lie down, and got up to go work a road race in Devou Park. Where it was still, like, 102 degrees!! Poor racers!
After a few hours there, I met my buddy, Rob, for a much needed beer. Ahhh....
How long has it been since I actually relaxed and had some fun???
Anyway, it was an early night. I was exhausted. And had to work Thursday.
Not much occured Thursday or Friday. I trained. I worked. And, oh, I was actually told that the shop is totally different place with my presence. And my coach was in. As were a couple of my teammates. And i met a few new folks.
I also had an amazing 90 min tempo run on Friday morning before work. I came across a local girls XC team on the bike trail. They passed once. Everyone looked fresh. Then twice, when the coach exclaimed that I still looked good and to help out his girls. I laughed. And then felt kinda guilty for not helping. Because, really, that's what I'd LOVE to do...make those girls believe in themsleves, that they can run further and stronger and longer than they think. Because, truly, the body is so much stronger than the mind allows belief.
[perhaps i should heed my own advice/suggestion?]
Because I arrived home from work and I was toast. Burnt toast.
And I awoke this morning thinking "Fuck My Life!" My legs were achy. And my lids were droopy (from letting the diarrhea-induced pup out 3x in the night).
But I got some coffee. And I sat outside. And I went to work.
And, ironically, I work at a place that pays shit but makes me happy. I feel useful. And wanted. And helpful. I mean, I worked for years ripping people off with high interest rates on equipment they couldn't otherwise afford. And now, I help people ride bikes more effectively and efficiently.
And I'm trusted. Today, I disassembled, reassembled and re-cabled an aerobar on a P2. By myself! And the manager told me that if I had questions to ask, but...when I finished, he was slightly amazed, couldn't believe I'd done what I had... on my own.
So, I'm now of the belief that we should do what we love. And i think it will ultimately bring to us what we love to do. But that's another post in itself...
Fudgy Black Bean Brownies
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