Friday, February 27, 2009
Anyway, last night, I had a 90 minute trainer session scheduled. I got in an hour and couldn't hack anymore. I had no energy. This morning, lots of drainage. I think the majority of my calories are coming from snot.
I did, however, wake up to my favorite running weather - 55 degrees and light rain! I love it more when it's dark. I love how great that cool moist air feels in my lungs...and how comforting the light rain feels once I begin to sweat...and how splashing through a puddle makes me feel a bit like a kid again...and how I saw only one other soul in the hour I was outside...and he wasn't running.
Heading off to Dayton in less than an hour to go see Paully. Tomorrow is the big sale at our tri shop, Wheelie Fun, and I'm hoping to snag a full wetsuit on the cheap...and then dad's making us dinner. I figure he should at least meet Paul before I go live with him this summer.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Last night was much the same...except when I went to bed, I had that scratchy, hollow, dry feeling in my throat, like I was fixin' to get sick! And I awoke at 12:35am barely able to swallow. And at 4:30am, I dragged my ass out of bed for practice. Half way there, I realized how foolish I was being. Last time I was sick, around Thanksgiving, and I swam masters, I had to sit out a couple laps (which I never do!) and I was all dizzy, thinking I was going to pass out. So, I turned around and went back to bed.
I took some meds and I'm at work now. I've had some good moments during the day where I can't wait to get to the gym. And I've also had moments where I could fall asleep sitting up right here.
Luckily, I'm leaving work in about 20 minutes to go get my hair cut! YAY!! I'm parting ways with the hood! Paul, in his redneck way, mentioned one day that I look like a wood duck with my "hood" of hair.
It really rarely looks like this, except when I'm keeping it out of my face while training. He just happens to see me mostly when I'm training. the other day, we're running along and he looks at me oh so affectionately and says "My little hoodie-hood". Seriously, I couldn't contain the laughter. I still can't. Unfortunately, Paul doesn't get to see me much at work, when I look decent...
On a fun note, I've been wearing my HR monitor all day to see how it is when I'm sick...and WOW! my metabolism must be at a standstill when I'm at work because my RHR is about 48 and has dipped to 42 on occassion. and that's sitting up typing. how gross!
Ok, off for my lid busting!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
I just got home from four days in Ocean City, where I will be training, working, living this summer!!! We found a place. It's three bedrooms (enough room for all our gear and our dogs plus visitors), two blocks from the beach, and cheaper than we were planning to pay. I'm super stoked!!! (Did you see that sunset?)
Saturday was a day of negotiations and running around and training and playing and visiting. 45 mins on the bike in the gym, 45 mins in the water, an hour run on the boardwalk, a stop for coffee at Dunkin' Donuts, a visit with a local rower, and then dinner with Graham again. We stayed at his place last night, since he was in town and got up this morning to head back home...where we found it to be 20 degrees cooler! Crap! I'm so sick of this cold...but I'm so glad that right now, I'm in my room after a hot shower and not feeling guilty about a rest day :)
So, I've joined in on the game. I asked Judi to interview me. Here goes:
1. what is that tattoo about on your wrist?
On the inside of my right wrist, I have inscribed "hope". My middle name is Hope. As a kid, I hated it. A couple years ago, I came across this article in Vogue in which the author stated:
"I'm not going to sit here and say somethnig to the effect that hopeI thought I knew what hope was, but I didn't really know until I thought there was none left for me. (See #5 for more info...) Now, sometimes, I just catch a glimpse of my wrist. I'm reminded from where I've come and how a little hope was the only thing that got me through.
is an onion that gets peeled back layer by layer by the rough hands of
experience, etc. I don't know what hope is. I only know that it is a force whose
meaning, like that of so many fundamental forces in life, is truly appreciated
only when it appears to be extinct. And I don't mean endangered. I mean
2. if you got another tattoo, what would it be?
I'm not sure. I'm far too fickle for something of no meaning and far too spontaneous to plan it out much.
3. besides q'ing for kona, what are your personal goals for 2009?
Um...to grow the balls to leave a job I hate just because it pays well...to appreciate the people in my life...to spend more time thinking of others and less about the stupid shit that doesn't really matter...to not give others power over my emotions...to keep and gain faith...to try to stay in right now as much as possible and not dwell on what already happened or what's about to happen...to not settle...
4. what is the 1st thing you think about when you open your eyes in the morning?
Wow. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, "4:30 already?!?" and most days "time to run (or get on the trainer or go to the gym)".
5. tell us about the last time you drank.
Hmm...September 25, 2006. A Monday. The day after I finished my first HIM- the Toyota Challenge at Deer Creek. It was the first night of my capstone class for grad school. We met the prof, got our assignment and were dismissed. Several of us headed to Christie's for a few drinks out on the patio. Most left after just a few. I didn't. I never did. Several pitchers, jagerbombs, vodka tonics later, it was determined by my only companion that it was time to go. It was before 11pm, but I'd been drinking for almost five hours. And I didn't exactly like to eat back then. I remember being in the bathrrom. I remember some deep conversation with a boy. The next thing I remember were steel-toed shoes kicking in my windshield, people screaming, me coming to, my car on it's side, me hanging from the seatbelt and asking God why I was still alive. I was horrified. I'd totalled my car for the second time in a year. I'd just gotten divorced. That was my third DUI. I was dead on the inside, existing in this shell that walked the earth, only acting as though I had everything together.
I spent the night in jail. I dumped all my alcohol. I cried for four days straight...and then intermittenly for four weeks.
Oh, i don't think anyone does, but just in case anyone reads this and wants an interview, just ask.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
then I'm not so blue... and I'm laughing my ass off!
I'm not currently blue, but I love that dance. Ha.
Last night's run went fairly well. Started out with a 20 mins at a moderate pace. Then, 7x2 min pick-ups with 3 mins easy after each. The only bad thing, is that when I run alone, I have a hard time keeping the easy part EASY. I finished with a 15 min cool-down and a quick stretch.
This morning, I woke up and ran to Walgreens, in the rain, to get ibuprofen. My hips ache. When I sleep on my side, it's worse. I woke up a few nights ago crying because even after I rolled on my back, the pain didn't dissipate after 15 mins. I hope nothing is severely wrong.
Today marks my second and last day of work for the week! And, I'm leaving early. I've got to go home and finish packing (being an athlete and packing is never easy. It entails bringing so much stuff! - swim gear, including paddles and buoy, running shoes, sports bras, cold weather gear, shorts for the gym, and then all the stuff you need for normal every day activities, like jeans, heels, sweaters...) and then get up to Dayton. Our flight leaves at 7:05am tomorrow. We've got a few places to view and we're visiting the chiropractor, running the Boardwalk, joining Masters swim practice, training...and just gettin' the hell outta Dodge! Wee-hoo!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
...and today, I just woke up and figured 'What the hell?! I don't have control over a damn thing anyway...Why do I torture myself trying to make things go my way? Why do I get so hung up on what's said and what's not said? Does it REALLY matter in the grand scheme of things? Should I give these crazy thoughts the power to ruin my morning, my day, my relationships?'
And I walked into Masters practice with this attitude: 'it's just swimming...I can swim. In fact, I can swim fast. It's just pain. And at most, it lasts an hour'. So, practice went like this:
Warm-up: 200 easy, 4x75 free on 1:15, 4x(100 free, 75 breast, 50 back, 25 free) on :30 base
MAIN: 6x200 (1 @3:20, 2@ 3:10, 3@ 3:00), 8x25 kick on :30
It was those last three 200s that scared me....and guess what?! I made every one of them! And I lapped two guys in my lane!
At 7:15 am...AFTER my fun swim practice
I had planned a lunchtime run, but then I was asked to actually work (gasp!), so I changed my mindset and moved it to after work...and went for a late "lunch" shopping trip :) Sometimes, we just gotta be girly and go shopping! And not for gear or food! For actual clothes...that look good on these bodies we work so hard to obtain.
So, I'm going for my run in about 15 mins...and I'm excited! Legs are fresh and attitude is great. Plus, it's almost 50 degress and I'm running in the 'hood tonight, boys.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Saturday morning, we overslept and were planning to cut the run short...but he surprised me by 1) remembering it was Valentine's Day when I forgot. Yes, I realize I'm probably the only female on the planet that forgets this holiday, but my luck in the gift receiving arena hasn't ever been great (nothing says "I love you, baby. You're so hot" like a case of ProActive solution), so I tend to disregard Holidays filled with such. And 2)continuing the run even though it meant being late for work...back in Dayton.
The run felt amazing and I needed that for the ego! I made him breakfast and sent him on his way while I went to the visitation...and then drove to Dayton. He returned the favor by cooking me boar and deer. Yes. Boar. And Deer.
Sunday was a three hour trainer ride (good God, that's a long time to be spinning your wheels and going nowhere!) and half hour run...and then Paul had a swim lesson, so I got in and swam 1000 while he worked with the youngster.
Monday = President's Day = No work for me!!! Legs were pretty trashed, so I did a 30 min spin on the trainer and then a quick 2k in the pool, mostly pulling.
Later this week, Paul and I head to the Jersey shore to find a place to live for the summer! Gotta get more training in before Thursday...and it's time to start cutting weight. Less than 7 weeks to Ironman California 70.3!!!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Paul and I ran a little over 7 miles over my "lunch break" yesterday. It was a 2.5 hour "break" since I drove home to run. He made me lunch too - chicken, whole wheat pasta, baked sweet potato and guacamole toast. And I sat and ate it with him. After a shower. No one at work even noticed my extended absence.
He did some spinning while I stewed the remainder of the day away in my cubicle... Later, we decided to get out of the house and went to see The Curious Case of Benjamen Button. Seriously, Brad Pitt looks a little like Smeagle in Lord of the Rings for the first full hour...and toward the end, he resembles Hilary Swank in Boys Don't Cry. Good movie. Not necessarily worth sitting in a theater for 2.5 hours with your ADD boyfriend...when you're slightly ADD yourself. I was so focused on how great his hands felt rubbing my legs that I missed the intro of Mr. Button... Oops!
We slept in this morning and went for a quick half hour run to get the blood flowing. Later, a swim? a bike? weights? Stay tuned...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Paul came into town yesterday and met my co-worker, Rob, at the YMCA to show him some moves in the weight room. Rob called me on his way back to the office and said he was "quivering". HA HA!!! Paul and I are not what I would deem "typical". I don't think many triathletes are. Rob is not a triathlete. He is an ex-frat boy, father of three that occasionally runs a few miles and lifts to stay in general good health. What Paul and I consider a good workout makes some people writhe in pain. I've yet to see Rob in the office this morning. I want to make him laugh and see if his core is so sore it stops him in his tracks.
We set up our trainers and began to ride...while watching Tropic Thunder...and after just 20 minutes, neither of us were feeling it. I so badly wanted to be outside!!! Paul grabbed some Doritos, I kid you not, and we continued pedaling. Soon, I suggested we just get up and go for a quick run to work on transitions. We ran a couple miles and I went on to ride my bike while Paul laid on the couch, munching on carrots and hummus, throwing the dogs some every now and then.
I was awoken at 1am. Then at 3am. Then at 4:10 am. Clubber vommitted up about 30 carrots. Apparently, Paul thinks she, a pug, can consume the same number of carrots as he and Drake, his Visla. Not so.
I got up for the last time at 4:30am to go to Masters swim practice. Paul slept. As I drove across the river, I wondered why I wasn't also in bed. warm. with my boyfriend that came to see me for a few days. I got to practice and we talked about Sean (see previous post) for a bit. i had to walk away from the group as tears streamed down my face when Aaron described the phone conversation he had with Sean on Tuesday:
"I sent him a text and he immediately called me back. I picked up and he was sobbing, and he just said 'she's gone'. I said 'who? Lily?'. And he said 'Marty. She's gone."
Ugh. We went on to our workout:
12x25 on :25 where every 4th 25 is non-free, 10x100 best average on 2:00 (this means we go hard on the first one, and try to hold that for the remaining nine), 350 easy, 5x100 (25 right arm stroke, 25 left arm stroke, 25 fist, 25 swim) on 2:15 any stroke, 100 all out.
I'm tired. I'm going home at lunch to go for a run with Paul. It's sunny. Maybe I won't have to tan today :)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
i'm not seeking pity, just explaining my mindset of late. this makes me seek solace in training. and oftentimes i have such great expectations of gaining relief in training, that i get no relief at all. i've been irritable. paul takes a lot of my shit. so unfair, i know. last night, as i was going to bed, i contrived some situation in my mind and began (via text) to question him... he quickly explained and erradicated all fears, to which i responded "i'm crazy. sorry. r u still sure u can handle me?". he said to me, "i'm sure i'll die trying...". where did i find this guy again???
anyway, my day started great today. i woke up and went to the gym to lift and had a great workout. i took my time getting ready and came into work, where I got this email (see below) from our masters swim coach. Sean is a guy that is my age that swims with us...and he's gone on a few rides with Tom and me. he and his wife, Marty, just had a baby named Lily. i think she was due in march, but she was born in early January. Marty went into the hospital before Thanksgiving because she’s got some heart problems and they wanted to watch both her and Lily. Sean and Marty came home from the hospital last month, but Lily is still at Good Sam in NICU.
With a very heavy heart, I am saddened to inform all of you that Sean 's wife, Marty, passed away yesterday at the age of 29. She died peacefully in her sleep after a pregnancy that had many complications. She was doing well after she gave birth to Lily but the heart defect that she had long suffered from became suddenly became much worse. Doctors had a hard time controlling it with medication.
I really can't say much other than I talked to Sean late last night and friends and family are staying with him right now. Services are being held at Crossroads Church Saturday morning (yes, Valentine's Day - could it get any worse) from 10:00 - 1:00. The last two years that I have known Sean and Marty have been two of my best. Sarah and I adored them and went to dinner and family functions with them often. Marty was such a warm and caring person and when I woke up today, it was if I woke up in an unfriendly world. She was always laughing and smiling........I can't imagine what Sean is going through right now. They were inseparable and this heartbreaking news has left a lot of us shocked and concerned about Sean and Lily.
We are still having Masters practice tomorrow morning but I just wanted to give you all the heads up as I will probably not be myself for a while.
kinda puts all my little shit problems in perspective, makes me wanna live in the moment, not worry about tomorrow, what chaos is like right now...makes me want to laugh a bit more and cry a bit less. even if just for today, i'm in today. even if i have a lump in my throat and a knot in my gut when i think of Sean with that little newborn by his side and his wife nowhere near, but in spirit.
me and Clubber, very excited that Paully is coming to town!
Paully is coming to town and we'll be riding on the trainers Wednesday night. We were gonna run, but there are 60 mph winds predicted... Not that it wouldn't be a blast, but I'd rather not suffer a concussion from flying debris. Besides, we've got to make it to masters practice Thursday morning...