So many things!

I have no better post title because there are just SO MANY THINGS that have taken place since I last posted.

Training wise,

•  I took two weeks after LBL 50 to kinda recover and just give my mind and body a repreive from so much running. I enjoyed happy hours and a few late nights and some nachos (like, a whole plate of them to myself). Over all, it was refreshing and just really re-ignited the fire in me to train again.
• I went into a 64 mile week after that...in which I was in Orlando for part of the week (more on that in the "life" section later) and then last week did 72 and another 72 this week...but that was on only 6 days of running.
• Yesterday I ran 25 miles, most on th Flying Pig marathon course (which is in just three weeks) in 3:13.40 and I nearly crippled my buddy, but not before he actually saved someone's life. No joke.
• I ran a couple miles before I met him because he wanted to do 22 miles. I wanted to go across the Taylor Southgate bridge into OH, but he insisted on the Purple People Bridge. So, across we went. I was so excited to catch up and run with him that I was chatting and suddenly, he wasn't there beside me. I stopped, and he was running at a woman...straddling the railing of the bridge, crying hysterically, and on the phone, saying she just wanted to go. He held her hands, made sure she wouldn't really make the jump. She declined his requests to get down at first, but then, something he said clicked. I can't tell you what it was. I don't know. I was frozen. Another runner on the bridge was on his phone calling the police. She sat on a bench and he knealed, holding her hands in his and told her that this world needs her, until the police came. We found out she has a husband and two kids, but life just gets heavy sometimes. And when help arrived, he told her to never forget his name and she said thanks and we went on to run another 21+ miles.
• Just a few days before that, i was out for a run in a neighborhood that's not the best. I passed a little girl and two little boys playing in a parking lot. The girl calls to me "is joggin' fun??" and i said "I like it!". All I could think about for the remainder of my run was how many different things i could have said to her. And whether running really is fun. (Because I wasn't exactly "jogging"...i was doing about 7:20 pace at the time I passed them). If it's not fun, why would I keep doing it? I just love it. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes not. Hmm.

And in life, well,

• I moved into a house. With a fenced in yard for my pups and two big bedrooms and more space than I have furniture for. It's pretty cool. Because I just needed a reprieve from the old memories that haunted my old place.
• And shortly thereafter, I went to Orlando for work. Correction: I went to DISNEY for a lender conference for one of our customers. In case you didn't know, that place is fucking magical!! We got dinner and a private tour in Animal Kingdom. And time by the pool in 80 degrees :)
• I got a new tattoo. And I didn't pass out (thank you, Rob) and afterward went to a Bell's Hopslam cask tapping. How much excitement can you fit in one night?!?

• My little tiny Clubber got an infected hair follicle on her eye lid and I took her to the vet, only to discover she had a hernia. Which meant repair. ASAP. surgical repair. Ugh. Totally broke my heart, but she seems to be recovering quickly. She was such a trooper through all the vet visits.
• And, in general, things are just good!

Land Between the Lakes 50

So….I did my first 50 miler on Saturday in Grand Rivers, KY at Land Between the Lakes. Actually, my first Ultra ever! And I was incredibly nervous. I knew I had put in the training, but life threw me a couple curve balls (like pneumonia and 12 hour work days) in the weeks prior so I was kinda scared.

I was standing at the start line with fellow Cincinnatian, David Riddle,who went on to set a new course record in 5:53, chatting it up and kinda asking advice. It was a four loop course, so he told me to do the first lap easier than an easy run, the second like an easy run, the third, start working and the fourth, race!

I went out SLOW! Partly because the single track trail was so crowded. There was also a 23k, a marathon and a 60k. It thinned out the second loop, so I picked it up (prob a little too much) to recover some ground. I had gels for the first two laps, 3 gels each loop. But I was just drinking water and by the time I was half way through the second loop, my fingers were swelling. I knew I needed salt but they didn’t have any except at the main drop-bag aid station. I started getting a little nauseous, so I just drank coke at every station and tried to shovel down some potato chips.

At the end of loop one, I was sitting in 6th or 7th place. At the end of the second, I had moved up to or 4th. I put in my ipod at the beginning of the 3rd loop, around mile 25 and struggled mentally for a few miles. Then, around mile 27.5, I caught another girl. Then about a mile later, I caught another who told me the defending champ was just ahead. I caught and passed her. And I never looked back. She had been walking and the girl behind her told me she’d gone out too fast so she wasn’t going to be a threat. I got s-caps starting the 4th loop… and was still smiling and laughing, making comments as I passed people. I did, however hit a point around mile 37 when I saw three men ahead of me and I was ready to pass them, but I was low on sugar, anxiously awaiting the next aid station for some coke. And BAM! I went down, hard!! The guy directly ahead heard me and turned around and asked if I was ok and I moaned and told him to go on. It hurt so bad and I was bleeding from my hand and knee. I just had to sit there for a minute. But I got up and went on to pass them all quickly. One foot in front of the other.

After exiting the trail the fourth time, they sent us out on this CRUEL out and back (about a mile each way) that was a huge hill on the road. The advantage was that I could see whether there was anyone on my tail. And then they sent us back into downtown Grand Rivers to finish. I found it hurt more to walk or stop, so I just kept running.

I finished first female in 8:11.20. Only 9 men beat me. I’m still in disbelief, really. What an incredible experience! I can't wait to go do another! But i have some recovery to accomplish first.

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So....training was going really great. I was doing 70 mile weeks very comfortably, including hill work and long runs. and then i got up to 80 miles in a week. I did back to back 20 milers. I did a 25 mile run at 7:46 pace.

And then, i got bronchitis....with a touch of pneumonia....and I'm on  a z-pack. and i'm on the mend. But this illness and the time off and the stress inducing causation of it all has really made me take a step back and appreciate the health i do have.

I've gotten mixed reviews on what I share about my personal life on here. And, honestly, that's part of the reason I quit sharing altogether.But, you know what, this is for me...not so much for you, though I do love your support. And i promise I'll talk about training more and I'll post more. but tonight, I just have to share what I've learned through heartache and pain and training and growing into myself....

I wrote this list back in 2006, when a friend asked if I'd learned anything through ,my marriage and subsequent divorce....And we had gone to san Francisco while shit was going down and ironically, I'm going back this week, and going through another transitional phase in which i need a reminder of these things, so, here's what I came up with then..

You asked me what I learned...

that you can love someone without being in love with them.
that it isn't the institution of marriage that is flawed, but the relationship.
that if what i had with him is the greatest thing i will have with someone else, i'd rather be alone.
that love is true and total acceptance.
that consistently putting your friends above your spouse is simply not realizing your spouse is your best friend.
that co-dependency is not love.
that you have to love you to love someone else. If that someone else doesn't allow you to love yourself, they can't be the person for you.
that everything happens for a reason.
that love sees beauty no matter what your clothes, hair, makeup, jewelry...
that once trust is broken, it might never be restored.
that love doesn't force you to unwillingly sacrifice things you love.
that i am okay...good even...maybe great, even if not great for him.
that everyone needs someone (or lots of someones) besides their spouse.
that you should never feel guilty for doing the things you love to do, even if the other person doesn't particularly enjoy those things themself.
that you never HAVE to stop learning about the other.
that sometimes, when you are sad, you don't even realize it because you haven't been happy in so long.
that it is far easier to forgive than to forget.
that sometimes, you should just be grateful.
that you shouldn't have to be afraid of your next wrong-doing.
that time together won't ALWAYS be fun, but it should be some of the time.
that it's okay to admit defeat.
that i don't need acceptance, approval or attention from any man to be acceptable.
that sometimes, you have to give yourself that hug you want so badly.
that you should never give up hope for that right person, but know that it will be fine if you never actually find them.
that independence is liberating.
that time and effort don't always equal success.
that you will know when you've had enough.
that jealousy, control, harassment are not emotions wrought of love.
that you shouldn't say/do things you regret or apologize for in the morning.
that sometimes, it's okay to get drunk and make an ass of yourself, but....
that it isn't okay to do so on a consistent basis.
that you really should never go to bed angry.
that you shouldn't have to cry yourself to sleep when the person that says they love you more than anything is lying right next to you.
that i am strong, i am likeable, i am funny (sometimes), i am beautiful, i am smart, and i can do so many thing that someone else may not be able to. i am me.
that i am amanda, not just so-and-so's friend/girlfriend/fiance/wife.
that you should always follow your instincts.
that doubt is a good indicator.
that someone who doesn't appreciate your time, doesn't deserve your time.
that communication is a major factor in any relationship.
that tough times call for tough measures.
that something in life will show you who your true friends are...and that you are lucky/blessed to have even two true friends in life.
that you shouldn't feel as though your opinion doesn't matter.
that you don't always get your way, but you shouldn't always let them have their way- compromise is key!!!
that if your friends and family don't like him, there is probably a reason.
that being denied too many times will lead to never asking for that same thing again.
that deprivation of even one elemental thing is completely destructive.
that oftentimes the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.
that everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not yet the end