Rest. It does a body good.

Ahhh.... A rest week!
That means just something like 12 hours.

So, I'm going to address something...and it's something a lot of people ask about. And it's something Melissa asked about on my last post. How, exactly, does one fit in a massive training load of, say, 21 hours?

Well, basically, it IS difficult. And it does require some sacrifice. But at the same time, it's what I LOVE to do. I was so tired last Monday (going into week three of a 3 week build) that I came home, plowed some blue corn chips and mango salsa and assed out at 7:30. Only to get up at 4am for swim practice. And then, Wednesday, I was up at 4 for a two hour speed workout. And then a ride into work (in 32 degrees) and a ride after work, to get up at 4:30am and go back to swim practice.

basically, these kinda weeks are train, work, train, sleep, train, work, train, sleep, and lots of eating in between. And these are also the weeks that i feel ZERO guilt about getting back on the coffee. Or having crazy cravings for frosted donettes, ya know, the c-store variety.

But here's the deal...I socialize while i train. And i hang out with people that understand that. Because they do it to. I just also tend to hang with the people that also train. Those people have become my best friends. And biggest supporters.

So, I suffer a week (or three) for weeks like this, when i may have more time to blog...

And I get time to relax. And maybe even feel guilty. But, really, I've learned that it's all about balance. And I have some pretty great people in my life to help me out, like boys that have hot tubs and like to sleep with Clubby.

It's all good...i think

So, my little tiny Clubber appears to be doing well. We had blood drawn at the vet on Monday and the results all came back fine. She's been full of spunk and vigor. She gets a little sketchy at night. I think she knows that what occurred wasn't normal and might be a little frightened...dogs are way smarter than we tend to give credit. My senses are also on high alert, so when she awakes every hour and sits up on the edge of the bed, I awake. Sleep has been a bit rough this week...

But training has been pretty fabulous. I even got outside for a 90 minute ride on Wednesday after work with Ack! My dumbass didn't bring shoe covers...and when it's cold enough to wear full-fingered gloves, it's probably cold enough to, at least have toe covers. It was great to be outside though. Because every other day, we've had some torrential downpours. And this morning, it snowed! blah.

Thursday morning, swim practice was lacking some of the super fast guys, so I moved up to a fast lane. And, wow, I love it up there. I get a challenge and I have fun. There were some pulls sets, some fin sets, some kick sets, some fast swimming and all in all, 3700.

Runs have also been going quite well. Last night, I ran straight through the production crew for Clooney's new movie The Ides of March, that they're filming here. I almost stopped and asked one of the security guys why all the trailers and pretty people standing about smoking cigarettes... Glad I didn't because it occurred to me what it was while I was out there.

Tomorrow is the Frosty 14 trail race. And a bunch of my buddies are down the USVI for 8 Tuff miles, which is some insane hill race in paradise. Should be fun for all!

I am not prepared

This blog has always contained a little bit of life and a little bit of training, a lot vulnerability and possibly too much detail.

And this post is none different.

This last week was INCREDIBLE! We, in the Midwest, got a tease of Spring. On Sunday, I got out for close to 70 miles on the bike. It was a ride full of hills and speed and wind. And me sucking the wheel of very strong male rider. Afterward, I was toast! In a really good way. The remainder of the week contained track work and crazy swim sessions and a couple trainer rides. And then came Friday...

I awoke at 2:30am to pee. After tossing and turning for an hour and a half, I just decided to get up and do my long run instead of trying to cram it in before going to the shop on Saturday. Two hours of night running in shorts and a sports bra, watching the city wake up and seeing another freak or two out running in the dark as well. It was the perfect start to a Friday prior to a nice long three day weekend. I rode my bike into work and at 5pm, I was on my way out the door for an hour and a half of daylight riding!

Saturday was at the shop. Everyone gets excited about riding again when it gets nice out, so there wasn't much down time. Clubber and Sid (my dog and Tom;s, the manager, dog) got to hang out all day, greeting customers.
And then I went to pick up the paperwork for the team I'm joining. Yes, I'm racing bikes for a team this year. There are nine of us girls and I'm really excited about the opportunity!

I woke yesterday to ice rain. Ugh. The cold came back. Trainer ride, weights, swim. And then hit the sack early...

when I was awoken by Clubber kicking my head. She likes to overtake my pillows at night. At first, I just thought she was having a dream (sometimes, she runs in her dreams), but when I moved her and realized she was awake, I knew that wasn't the case at all. The actual events that occurred next are blurry. I know I turned on the light. I must've set her down on the middle of the bed because I later realized she urinated right in the middle of it. She was convulsing, legs rigid, kicking, squirning. Immediately, I picked her up and tried to calm her. I took her downstairs, unsure yet what was happening. Her breathing was shallow and rapid. I felt like she was fighting me, so I set her on the floor. She felt over legs sprawled out, tensed up. It was the most horrific scene... I was screaming and crying and holding her as tightly as i could. What seemed like forever, but was likely no more than five minutes, the spasms continued. And I realized what I was witnessing was a seizure.

When it ended, I took her back to bed and did some research on the 'nets on my phone as she snored next to me. It appears to be one of two things: PDE (Pug dog encephalitis) or epilepsy. If it's the first, she doesn't have much time.

I was supposed to have a massage today. And I was so excited about it. But I can't bear to leave her sight. She's been sleeping on my lap all morning.

This is the one little thing that has been a constant in my last eight years. So much has happened in that time. I've been married and divorced, quit a job, got a new job, moved all over the place, bought and sold houses, had roommates, lived alone, trained for IM, run marathons, stumbles, got back up, laughed, cried, hurt, and loved. And she's been there through it all, to help comfort me, sometimes, just to be the reason I get out of bed.

To have a dog is a selfish thing. I realize that. And I've lost a lot of things in this life. And I'm just not prepared to lose this one. And I guess I never thought that day would come.And I'm not saying it has now, but the very thought that it may has me scared.

Loving my Saturday ride!!!

All alone. Back in the saddle for some hills, some wind and some (seemingly) fast riding :)

The Ohio, at the end of Rte 8 W. Only slightly jealous of those out on that boat.

The road back home. The temp was perfect. Maybe 80. No humidity. I was dancin' in an out of the shadows thrown by those trees.

And I came home to this...a very sleepy Clubber!


I was driving down the road yesterday and couldn't keep from smiling thinking about just being ok with where I am. It's been a hell of a year. Very rollercoaster. Ups and downs, speedy and stagnant. And it's not the end of the ride, but I think we're over that first big, scary hill...when you can finally feel ok loosening the grip and letting out shrieks of laughter, when you know you'll be ok, through the loops, corkscrews and crazy turns. And you know that by the time you get to the end, that first big scary hill was probably the best damn thing that happened. Even if it didn't feel like it at the time.

My Clubby!!

By popular demand, this is the pup! Until I get pics from mi madre, I don't have any of us pre and post race.

Like mother, like daughter

I took Clubber for a long walk this morning after a short spin on the trainer. It was already beautiful at 6am - 65 degrees and the birds were chirping. As we walked, Clubber would get distracted and dart after the birds. It occurred to me that she pretty much chases after anything and everything that's faster than she...birds, squirrels, deer, Drake, me, cars, etc. And it made me think....

I do the same thing!!! I chase after things that are just out of reach. When I'm out for a run or a ride and I see someone ahead, I have to go catch them. Most of the time I don't even realize that I increase my pace because my focus is so shifted. Tom and I used to joke because he could see it as it was happening - even if he didn't see the "rabbit" ahead, he knew there had to be one just by the look on my face, the determination in my eyes and the sudden increase in energy and speed.

The difference between that little pup and me? I don't think she has any fear in relation to not actually catching that bird or squirrel. She just goes after it. The problem I tend to have with chasing more, faster, better is the inability to appreciate what I've got right now. When my focus shifts from the workout I'm in to catching the target ahead, I've lost focus on my training session and seemingly given focus to someone else's. And this isn't just apparent in my trianing. It's in my careeer, my relationships, my possessions, my figure... So why is it that I have such a problem appreciating what I have?

Suzanne (the massuese) and I discussed "fear of losing something" yesterday. While this fear is deemed as negative, it isn't always so. It's positive in the sense that it means I actually want something enough to not want to just let it go. That said, I also need to have some faith that I'm gonna be ok and I am still a good person and I can still have a good workout, worthwhile life, happy day, etc whether or not I catch that faster runner, maintain my position, always have a boyfriend, or a rainstorm ruins my cute leather biker jacket. While it's not bad to want something or not want to lose something I already have, it can have a negative effect when that fear of not getting what I want or losing what I already have overtakes my appreciation for the having it or the journey in attaining it.

So, today, I'm going to take a lesson from my little girl and continue to go after what I want while also appreciating what I have RIGHT NOW...and right now, I have a pretty fucking amazing life.

run with purpose

When I left work Wednesday evening, the thermometer in my car read 60 degrees. Clouds were covering the sky and there was a breeze that smelled of a damp spring day. My mind was on one thing - running. I'd plotted myself a nine mile course, the weather was perfect, and my iPod miraculously recovered!

As I headed out, moving felt easy. My legs turned over with ease. Breathing was fluid. My body was light. I felt a smile cross my face as I sang along with Mick to "Beast of Burden" and thought of one of the first stories Paul told me: He was driving by the mall, windows down on an unseasonably warm day in December, singing (and dancing I'm sure!) along... "Am I hard enough? Am I rough enough? Am I rich enough?...". At a stop light, a carful of girls spotted him, pointed and laughed. Did it stop him? Of course not! It was a story that only intensified my desire to be right there with him...

I made my way toward Newport, as TI and JT came piping in my ears: "...the heart of me is strong today. No regrets I'm blessed to say, the old me dead and gone away". How aprapos. Feels weird some days to think back on the things I've done, what I've been through. Doesn't even feel like my life. I'll blame the gratitude for the pace and levity with which I was bounding...

I diverted from my planned route and veared over the bridge to Covington and zeroed in on the slender chic (that's code for "skinny bitch") about a quarter mile ahead. It took me nearly a mile to catch her...and as soon as I did, we were on different paths again. But, she helped me maintain a good pace for mile #4.

Beyonce, The Postal Service, Rogue Wave...then Say Anything and "Walk Through Hell" which always melts my heart a little, as I pass behind the stadiums along the Ohio River. And as I crossed the Purple People Bridge back into Newport, Feist and "I Feel it All" came on. And I could feel it all - the wind whipping against me as I ran uphill, my legs burning, my arms feeling a little heavier... I was about 53 minutes in, and as I reached the other side of the bridge, I practiced some calming exercises, concentrated on keeping my abs tight, legs below not behind me.

The last few miles home were relaxed but strong as the sun set in the distance. I finished 9.6 miles in 1:14 for a 7:43 pace. Not bad for my second run of the day and being a little under the weather :)

I enjoyed the film of sweat on my skin as I stretched on the porch and spent the remainder of the evening with Mom and Kaylee...and Clubber. I even let her lick the dish after I finished some ice cream.