Thursday, May 14, 2009

i'mmmm baaaack.

I've had so much time off training with being so sick for so long that I didn't really see much sense in posting. I've had a million thoughts run through my head and a million reasons to write, but I hesitated...and never followed through.

I am back to running. I'm not able to swim or bike just yet. And my runs are short (an hour at most), relatively speaking. And slow. But I still gain peace in running. In being alone. In sweating. In feeling my heart beat. I've run with more pent up emotion this last week than I've probably ever had. But for an hour or less, I have an outlet.

My life has not been threatened by illness, but it is significantly altered. It's something, that once again, has been an impetus to make me take a step back and really look at things that matter in life. It's made me have such gratitude for those that love and care about me. It makes me grateful for what my body is capable of doing. It's made me realize that for a while, I took those abilities for granted. I pushed and demanding more and more from my body. I didn't take enough time to cherish it. I won't do that anymore.

My eyes have been opened to some very simple truths in life. I always have believed that everything happens for a reason. I know I don't always understand why the bad things happen, like people getting cancer or the loss of a small child. Mostly, I can somehow see the blessing that resides in the catastrophic. Now I can see that, sometimes, God's very blessing is allowing something bad to happen to prevent something worse from happening.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.


Mary Sunshine said...

Wishing you peace during this time. I have no idea what's going on but you have such amazing strength...I'm sure you will come out of it stronger than ever.

Chloe said...

Glad that you are up and going :) Just take it one step at a time and listen to your body. You'll be rocking out sooner then you realize!!

Stay strong and positive - sending lots of hugs your way!

IronMatron said...

I'm glad to hear you're back running! And yes, I think you're right that there is usually something to be taken and learned and cherished out of experiencing catastrophe.

Kim said...

one baby step at a time. im happy to hear your positivity!

Judi said...

healing is taking time but it is happeneing, none the less.