Monday, June 8, 2009

so what

I was driving home on my lunch break to take the pup for a walk when I scan through the radio and a familiar song blares through the speakers. "So, so what? I'm still a rock star. I got my rock moves and I don't need you..."

And it made me think. In a roundabout way, that silly little pop song was the inspiration the name of this blog. And the little quip in the header? It's a true story. Tom and I had just finished a long ride and were running near the levee, just about to cross the Purple People Bridge when I said "Dude, we're fucking Rockstars!!" He was just trying to get through the damn brick. He turns to me and says, "I'm glad you feel like a rockstar right now 'cause I sure as hell don't". And we plodded along...

But last summer when we were training, I had a way of getting goofy at exactly the time when he was suffering the most. I can't tell you how many speed sessions we'd do where I'd bust out in song during the recovery phase. Sometimes it was that silly Christmas song that forever gets stuck in your head, "IIIIIIIII want a hippopotomaus for Christmas. Only a hippopotomaus will do..." and other times it was David Ball's country tune "Yes, I admit, I got a thinkin' problem! Fill the glass up to the top...". So, on this particular occassion, I sang some Pink. (I should also note that I DO NOT, in any way, shape or form have a voice that is worthy of singing.) And followed it up with a very motivational speech about the reasons behind our rockstar-ism.

We ran past the Montgomery Inn boathouse and I commented on all the people in there eating ribs in the air-conditioned bar, overlooking the scenic river while we're trying to hold down Gu and carry our water bottles as we run in 88% humid 90 degree heat at 2pm on a Saturday afternoon. And that was AFTER we'd ridden the bike for hours! We were training for an ironman! We were doing more in one day than most people (except those who read blogs like this. You, too, are Rockstars!) would do in a week, maybe even a month! Anyway, it became our little thing. Whenever either of us would be hurtin' on a ride or run, we could look at the other and just say "dude, we're fucking rockstars".

It was never an arrogant thing, more of a fun, playful, take-the-mind-off-the-pain, be-grateful-for-what-we-can-do kinda thing.

It just so happens that just as I crossed the finish line at the Great Floridian, the very race we were training for that made us rockstars, that song was playing. My family was there. My mom was so proud, she was jumping up and down as I crossed that line. Dad and his buddy had been along the course all day. My little bro, his fiance and their little girl were all there to give hugs and high fives. I'd sacrificed time with them all summer to train for this thing. And I learned a lot about myself and the things I love to do, and over-doing those things and friendship and training partners and sharing, loving and just showing up - no matter how much the legs hurt or how tired the lats were or how early the swim practice - and about believing in me without shame of being selfish.

And it's just a silly little pop song, but really, the message to me was pretty clear all along.

So so what?
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And i don't want you tonight


Judi said...

hmmmm. message to anyone? lol.

Chloe said...

Great post!!! I love to run/bike by a place where everyone is sitting inside eating ther burgers and diet cokes - and I'm trying not to puke from a workout. For some reason - it puts a smile on my face :) And I hope I puke and ruin their lunch. Wait. That was kind of mean. Kind of.

IronMatron said...

Oh yeah. Stupid little pop song, but you just want to scream it! So funny--b/c this winter I've been turning that one up quite a bit myself.

And you are a rock star!
At least I think so. :)

Court said...

I think I might have been one of those people, eating ribs in the air conditioning last summer. But thanks for validating my status as a rockstar for reading your blog, anyway! :-) I liked this post. You seem like you're doing better.