mememememememe!!!

There are some things about me that most people don't know...and that you lucky readers now have the pleasure of learning.

 - When I am sick, I sometimes feel high. And I swear my IQ drops more than a few digits. Seriously. And it's not because I take drugs. I don't. I'm far too sensitive. One dose of antihistimine and I won't shit for three days. On occasion, I'll throw back a Tylenol or Aleve, but it's rare. Back to being stupid...I have very little concentration. I can't speak correctly, and this post will likely be full of grammatical errors.

 - I do not like to participate in others' drama. I don't really appreciate that someone posted anonymously on Judi's blog and brought me up in it. Seriously, wtf? (and i'm still trying to figure out who I know well enough that doesn't know how to spell "you're"). Also associated with this same point of other peoples drama, I've been disconnected with my bff. And I'm super sad. I feel like I've lost a limb.

 - I look for a meaning in almost everything. I mean, I heard "Joey" by Concrete Blonde the last two evenings on the radio, and I'm wondering if there's a Joey that I need to not be angry with anymore? And I usually don't taper well, but being sick is forcing me to taper for Saturday...so maybe it's not such a bad thing?



 - I am not very tidy. I vacuumed this evening and found four bobbypins and a lottery ticket from at least two months ago. But I do try to hang my clothes on a fairly regular basis. Though anyone who really knows me would probably refute this last statement.

 - Man, I love me some cereal. And I eat it dry. By the handful. A box purchsed will be consumed wholly within the week.

 - I really love my dog. Really. And some dude came into the shop the other day, saw Clubber, asked if she was mine, and when I said yes, he picked her up and said "of course she is! She's obviously a girl's dog" and then continued "no man would tolerate a dog like this". Umm....really? Everything that came out of his mouth after went in one ear and right out the other...until he asked me if a wetsuit was a "cold weather biking suit". Thanks to those of you on FB who recommended amazing comebacks to that. I wish I had thought quicker. But see my first point.

 - I have a very skewed perception of "fun". I mean, it's gonna be in the high 20s, low 30s for this trail marathon on Saturday, and I am looking forward to it like a kid waiting for Santa. And now that I'm rested, I'm soooo looking forward to full fledged training. And getting back into the weight room.

 - I have an uncanny ability of letting people justcloseenough to me before I get completely and totally terrified and back away. Like. you. wouldn't. believe. AND I justify it. SO, any of you out there to whom I've done this, you're reading it now: it's not you. It's me. But, strangely, those who get past this hiccup tend to be monumental forces in my life. And then end up leaving my ass. (hence my instinct to flee first) ho hum.

 - I've got a dream. And I think I'm gonna go after it. Now. Ya know, that I'm 30 and I've got nothing else.

Random Musings

Apparently there are five (or seven, depending on the methodology of choice) stages of the grief process. Yeah, I guess I may be grieving. The good news is that I'm in stage four (or six) of the five (or seven). The bad news is that this stage would be "depression", defined as "overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb."

Yes, it's fun. Very thrilling.

So, I'm getting my ass out and applying for jobs. And having lunch with friends. And going back to swim practice. The crap part is that when it comes to the run and bike, I feel like a slug. I keep thinking it'll come back, but then I get this overwhelming fear that it won't. But it will, right? It has to.

Just like the dude sitting next to me at the airport HAS to leave at some point. I mean, every 30 seconds or so, I get a big whiff of spicy sausage...in the form of a belch. And it's making me nauseous. If I didn't have all my shit splayed out, I'd move.

Speaking of moving, I was driving here and got stuck behind this vehicle. It's like, I knew the driver was fat without even having seen them. They moved all slow like. And that wasn't the dead giveaway...it was the fact that they had a million things - books, a box of tissues, a hand towel, a map, an animal carcass (kidding) - on that little platform behind the back seat. And, as I went to pass said driver, sure enough, I was right.

I think it would be these kinds of thoughts that bring me misfortune. Ya know, if you believe in karma. The girls at work used to call me "evil". But I wasn't (and still am not) evil. I just say the things that everyone else is afraid to say. I'm honest. And, frankly, I think we could use a little more honesty in this world.

I had lunch today at Chipotle with those girls from work. I ate too much and I couldn't come close to finishing that monstrosity of a burrito. I wish I'd ordered extra beans so I could battle it out with the sausage boy next to me. Anyway, it was good getting back in touch with them. But weird to see them all in their dress clothes. And me in my shorts and tank top. They were jealous. Ha.

I'm working the Devou Park Crit tonight. But I hear thunder outside... I suppose if it gets rained out, I will be applying to more jobs. And waiting for the spunk to return to my legs.

10 Random Things

Oh, since he didn't specifically tag anyone, but left the offering open, I'm gonna keep the thing going from RockStarTri's "10 Random Things About Me".

1. I LOVE gumballs. And peanut butter. Not necessarily together.
2. I can't whistle. I've always blamed it on my big lips. 
3. I am so. overly. sensitive.
4. At least a couple times a week, I have very vivid, somewhat disturbing dreams.
5. I was a fat kid. My parents took me to a dietician when I was in 4th grade. I learned how to eat well at a very young age.
6. I read my horoscope almost daily. Today's? Have you been walking or exercising too much lately, Amanda? If so, you might be experiencing aching feet and leg muscles today. Be sure to wear comfortable shoes and stay off your feet as much as you can in order to allow the strains to heal. At some point you might want to relax in a hot tub or jacuzzi - preferably with a romantic partner! This is a great way to turn a disadvantage into a great time! Enjoy! I find it ironic, but not particularly significant since the only hot tub I know is at the gym where I swim. In the women's locker room. And I like men.
7. Yes. I like men. Particularly if they're bad. Or bad for me. But if he can't spell he hasn't a chance in hell.
8. If I could, I would live in jeans, a tank and flip flops. Ya know, when I'm not swim/bike/running...
9. I have 30+ pairs of heels. I also have bunions in both feet. Not a great combination.
10. It is very difficult for me fall asleep without the snoring of my pup.

And now, for tagging, since I never do, how about....Judi (Miles&Madness), Jen (Setting You Free), Aimee (I tri to be me), Missy, Morgan (Redhead Running), Carolina John, Sean in DC, Christi, and anyone else who wants to join in on the fun.

Pet Peeves

 It's one of those days. Bare with me.

1 - people who walk with a cart down the middle of the aisle at the grocery store.
2 - FAILING. Coach Aaron gave us a set at Masters today - 21x100 as in: 7x(1 on 1:30, 1 on 1:25, 1 on 1:20). Now, I know I can't do this. And so does he. He sets us up to fail. to push us, to help us break through. This morning, I couldn't take the mental beating. And I whined. I got attitude. The tears almost started flowing.
3 - nausea after long workouts.
4 - PMS (see #2 and #3. or this entire post)
5 - people who make assumptions based on looks...or worse, what is the norm, i.e. - stereotypes. (see also #8 below)
6 - repeating what was just said in a slightly louder voice at a slightly slower rate with a bit more annunciation after I ask "what do you mean?". I'm clearing asking for additional details or something to clarify the point. I hear just fine. And I speak English. Fluently.
7 - being told I need to do something by someone who doesn't sign my paycheck or write my workouts.
8 - being spoken to/treated like I am an idiot, in part, simply because I am female. I do not need you to go behind my back and double check everything I do. I have made it, at least, the last 12 years (if you give credence to my parents for the first 18) on my own. MUCHAS GRACIAS!
9 - asking me the same question over and over and over simply because you don't like the answer that was given the previous 15 times.
10 - planning out every. little. detail. Let some things just be what they will.
11 - snow. Like, 13 inches of it.
12 - being cold.
13 - unnecessary quotation marks.
14 - the dude driving a Hummer yesterday with his hazard lights on. Seriously. If my '98 Chrysler can handle the snow, so can your off-road vehicle.
15 - hearing what I say, but not listening to what I'm actually saying.
16 - realizing half way through the afternoon that there actually is a reason my bra feels uncomfortable...and it's not because the skeeter bites suddenly grew. Nope. Just somehow twisted the whole thing up. WTF? You'd think that after, oh, 18 years one would learn, right?
17 - did I mention the snow? Because it won't stop.

I could go on, but I'm going in for an attitude adjustment. Thanks.

friday thoughts

 - why am I always having a good hair day on the days I need to hit the gym at lunch?
 - riding outside tomorrow. should be interesting. high of 28 degrees. will be testing new cold weather gear.
 - Splash'n'Dash on Sunday. I'm actually going to do it this time. 1000m indoor swim followed by 5k outdoor run. then more running with teammates.
 - will also be trying on new team unis.
 - speaking of which, Triple T tri top designs are out. they look tight. per usual.
 - looking at going some place warm soon. wait. even TX and Atlanta are getting dumped on with snow? f*^k!
 - thank you Lincoln and Washington for President's Day. and that I have a job at a bank. three day weekend in store!
 - the above is much more exciting to me than valentine's day, which is just another day. I guess I don't understand why we only show our love one day a year through obligatory flowers and candy.
 - not that flowers and candy aren't nice and yummy...
 - because the tulips sitting on my kitchen table are beautiful. and the chocolate covered strawberries were delicious.
 - the half hour on the treadmill at the gym just now seemed to take FOREVER. much longer than the 80 laps on the indoor track on Wednesday.
 - tomorrow will be the 5th and final day on the bike for the week.
 - and Sunday will be the 5th and final run. but only the 3rd and final swim.
 - perhaps I should get in the pool more?
 - I'm leaving early again today to kick off this 3-day weekend.
 - and I'll be hanging with an old high school friend. should be entertaining.
 - Oh, and Winter Olympics start this eve. I like the Olympics.

 - I'm getting back into training mode. I am regularly in bed by 9pm and waking just minutes before the alarm. Today it was 4:28. Alarm sounds at 4:30.
 - Masters practice consistently consists of at least 3200. Today, it was 3500. Main set was 10x200. Seriously. Aaron is loving the 200s and 250s these days. They just hurt. Particularly when they are pull. With very little rest.
 - And later I have a hill run. It's supposed to top out at 42 degrees today. I'm hoping it sticks til 5:30pm so I can wear shorts.
 - Trying to convince myself that I'm capable of doing Leadville Silver Rush 50 trail run. I'm terrified of the elevation issue. But Boulder would be doing the 50 mile mtb race the day before. So this could be fun :)
 - I was talking to Judi the other day. She said "This is gonna be a huge year!...for both of us. Seriously. It's gonna be so great!" And thinking about how she said it and what possibility lies in those words still gives me chills.
 - I have come to love getting on the trainer. I blame Spinervals. I look forward to them. Is that sick? Maybe ask me in a couple months whether I'm loving the trainer.
 - We do have an outdoor ride scheduled for this weekend. SOOO looking forward to this.
 - Like a few others have stated, I feel like I was fitter a year ago at this same time.
 - I'm not stressing it though. So many things were different. And I really like where I am right now. And regaining fitness and seeing little improvements.
 - I'm really grateful for the people in my life - my training partners, my family, my friends, and even the men that have shown (and continue to show) me what I don't want in a man.
 - If I could leave today and go to Haiti and help those people, I would. I hate seeing people suffer. And I may not be a doctor, but I could help somehow.

I can't believe...

 - I actually went out for a ride on the mtb and didn't crash! I had a lot of fun. And I went alone. I got incredibly muddy and I slipped on ice a couple times. I found out that mtb tires have no traction when caked in mud. And even Marines will laugh at a chic in spandex who has mud streaks up her crack.
 - I opted to run on the treadmill instead of the road yesterday. It had been raining for about 12 hours. It was dark and dreary. I was cold. I wanted to sweat. So to the gym, I dragged my ass. And I got sweaty. And it was glorious.
 - They will hire anyone willing to work for minimum wage at the new Kroger Marketplace in Newport, KY. Wow. Did I just state the obvious? All of northern KY decided to visit this place on Sunday around noon. It took over a half hour to get through the check out line. And every lane was open. There are three cart corrals in the entire parking lot. Fucking genius.
 - A good friend of mine told me I'm intimidating. I've gotten this in the past, but I honestly thought that perception might have changed. I'm so not that girl. I mean, I'm a total softy. I don't get it. I'm totally approachable. In fact, I'll probably approach you. I'm just a clutzy goof. With an obnoxiously loud laugh.
 - I watched two movies this weekend. And two last weekend. And one before that. I rarely watch movies. And I just signed up for Netflix. I fugured I need something to do for these trainer rides during the week because...
 - The "off season base training plan" starts today. I have a schedule. Here we go!
 - As I sit here eating carrots and broccoli, my coworkers are ordering "Five Guys Burger and Fries". Just for shits and giggles, I pulled up the website. And the nutritional info. I decided not to ruin their fun and inform them of nutritional monstrosities they are about to comsume.

early to rise

People always ask me how I get up so early and work out. In the winter, the question expands to "how do you get up so early when it's so cold outside and train?"

Simple. I don't have much choice. My body is designed to rise early. I have always been this way. Sleeping in for me is, like, 8am. If I were really lucky, I could sleep until 9. But only if I were up until 3 the night before. Even in high school, I was up in plenty of time to get in a run before class.

Problem is, my body wakes up, but I don't think my brain is quite so acute in the early hours. If it were, surely, it would convince me to stay indoors, where it's warm.

Case in point:
Yesterday, I woke up ten minutes before the alarm...yep, 4:20am. And I got ready for swim practice. It was the coldest morning of the season so far - 19 degrees. And I make this the morning that I'm going to go back to swim practice. Twenty minnutes away. In a car with no heat.

But, like I said, my brain didn't argue the idea. It was just an autonomic response.

And this morning, again, 20 degrees. And I put on some tights, a fleece, gloves and a hat and I go out for a run along the river. The sleeping brain this morning? I went out with the wind. And came back against it. It's a total rookie mistake. And a recipe for disaster. or frost bite. The kicker? I'd just had discussed this very topic with my COO (and fellow runner on) Wednesday.

In other random news...
 - I've found that you make no friends in the office when you jam up the printer with pages upon pages of client tax returns. After receiving several nasty comments, my only response is "I'm just doing my job".
 - I'm still not as unpopular as that person in the office who leaves streaks in the toilet.
 - My buddy just lent me his mountain bike. So I'm riding it this weekend. Pray I don't kill myself.
 - Boulder is coming to visit next weekend. :)
 - The previous statement means I have some cleaning to do this weekend. I hate cleaning. Right now, it looks like Christmas puked on my living room floor.
 - Meeting up with Coach and teammates this eve to discuss training and season plan.
 - Um, it's Friday! Let the games begin!